As my biography suggests, I make hip-hop music. I've been rapping since I was sixteen (I'm twenty-seven), and I wrote this song back in 2009 before I put out my debut EP "Where Does it Come From, Where Does it Go Forever." This track is by far my most popular, and it was integral in developing my musical trajectory. If you'd like to listen to the song while you read, you can find it here: https://introvert.bandcamp.com/track/heavy-sighs-spoken-softly
As a note, I was not aware when I wrote it, but the "mid-life crisis" line in the first verse is taken almost verbatim from Aesop Rock's "Babies with Guns." Unfortunately, I did not catch it before I released the song.
They say I need to speak more, I need a better outlet.
I've been digging through the thoughts so long my fingers became calloused.
I lost the feelings in my palms, so I reached toward the sky
hoping stars would burn the fingerprints left there those lonely nights.
I couldn't reach. It was a strange sensation
when the lines in my hands became constellations.
My skin's not thick or rough, I'm not strong enough
to confront the night, but the moonshine helps me sober up.
I've travelled down the same road, kicking yellow bricks home,
walking empty handed pockets full of false hope.
I stared at myself. He stared back at me.
Crossed his legs and asked, "Well what do you believe?"
I said, "The sky that I'm under resembles my coffin
and all the roads I walk are worn down and broken.
I imitate the sheep still dressed in wolf's skin
and pretend every carnivore I meet is my brethren.
Got lost in translation somewhere between the seams
when I stitched myself together with lies and broken dreams.
I'm not complaining life's as good as it can be
Its just odd when the man in the mirror can't understand me.
Even he could never know about the places I've been
Or how it feels to have a mid-life crisis at ten.
Strangely I died before I ever hit twenty.
I may just be a carcass but this grave looks lovely."
I sold my soul today.
I sold my soul today.
It wasn't worth what the devil paid.
I sold my soul today.
I sold my soul today.
It wasn't worth what the devil paid.
If I did something wrong then I apologize,
but at this point in my life I like to feel alive.
I know this body was never really mine,
but it feels like it could be at some times,
So tonight I hope that you come to understand:
this wasn't in the plan. All the footprints in the sand
led me to the truth. I finally realized
I'm just weaving through another ghost's life, and that's alright.
I'll keep my mouth shut, but my tongue stretched acres.
I'll apologize now for what I'll say later,
but I guess it doesn't matter, every word gets scattered.
If I had to choose between silence or death, I would pick the latter.
And I did; there was too much left unspoken.
Couldn't care less if the windows to my soul are broken.
Sure, it leaves a mess, but you shouldn't be distressed
I'm not the only one that ever flew over the cuckoo's nest,
and found what wasn't lost. Now I know the cost
that a martyr must pay to signify a just cause.
Death doesn't care what you believe in
as if faith is nothing more than an escape from our demons.
I regret nothing since I won't wake up tomorrow,
I can rest assured I'll never use the time I borrowed,
so close your eyes and forget me please,
so I won't be so embarrassed when I have to leave.
I sold my soul today.
I sold my soul today.
It wasn't worth what the devil paid.
I sold my soul today.
I sold my soul today.
It wasn't worth what the devil paid.
