Exercises for humans still wouldn't translate easily into some cogniscent body types.

A lot of the reference material I was given up there was stuff I straight up can not do because it will end up hurting me.

The weight thing you said? Would wreck my wrists.
The bending thing? I have intense problems with my knees [since the age of 16 believe it or not] that make getting up from getting down more than a trial.

Some people just can't bend that way. Obviously I need to find the niche exercises for people with dodgy joints, but the point remains. Some people just can't bend that way.