On the planet, the women disappeared, the CEO's replaced them with robotic women.
On the planet, the men and children disappeared, the CEO's replaced them with AI workers.
On the planet, the AI began to fade away, the workers began to stop working.
The CEO's demanded their people return.
The living, now freed, individuals shouted back "Use your bootstraps!" -- Anon Guest
"Nobody ever handed me anything on a silver platter," said CEO Zalmoxis Morong as he plucked a petit four offered to him on a gilded platter. "Everything I have accomplished, I have accomplished on my own. I pulled myself to a position of power by pulling myself up by my bootstraps. So anyone else can do the same." He sipped delicately from his wine glass. "I am the epitome of a self-made man. Everyone else is too lazy or too ready to make excuses."
The Alliance interviewer transmitting this across every possible receiver said, "So you have every confidence that you could make yourself all over again?"
"Every confidence," said Zalmoxis. That was how the trouble began.
He did not miss the absence of his world's women. He simply replaced them with in vitro gestation drawers and imported eggs for the purpose of making the next generation of workers.
When those began vanishing, he invested in automation. After all, he had always said that they were easily replaced.
When the automatic machines broke down, and the software expired, there was nobody left to fix it.
The self-proclaimed, self-made man suddenly needed help.
The Alliance sent him a set of boot straps and one word of instruction: Pull!
He tried. He genuinely tried to make himself all over again. It all resulted in varying degrees of failure. Zalmoxis learned.
No self-made man ever birthed himself. He never cared for himself when he was small and helpless. He never taught himself to read, nursed himself when he was sick, carried himself when he was exhausted, nor comforted himself when he was lonely.
He could not grow his own food, no matter how hard he tried. He didn't even know how to search the infonets for anything useful.
Needless to say, Zalmoxis Morong's public apology went viral.
[Photo by mostafa mahmoudi on Unsplash]
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