It's not a good idea to bathe a cat unless absolutely necessary. And even then, with an abundance of caution. -- Fighting Fit
Some say that cats are very clean animals since they wash themselves. Some argue that they are not, in fact, clean at all - but rather covered in cat spit.
Many of those people have never reckoned with being owned by a bobtailed cat[1].
Jermaine found this out in the process of taking a bath. Just a nice luxurious soak that followed a long and frustrating day. The only positive point being that hir new kitten, Miku, was grateful that ze had returned to feed her. Said new kitten, stomach full, had clambered up to witness her human soaking in an abundance of water.
"Sorry, dearie," Jermaine sighed. "It's not for kitty cats."
Miku dove in anyway. Alternately swimming around in the tub and using Jermaine's body as an island to rest on between paddling sessions.
Panic!
How many of these bath products were kitten safe?
"Uh. Sylvia?" Jermaine called to hir home assistant. "How many bath products for people are also safe for cats and kittens?"
"Processing," said the friendly voice of the invisible woman that lived in the aether of the internet. "Here's what I found in my search engine."
Which would be on Jermaine's phone as soon as ze and the kitten got out of the tub. Just to be safe, ze would put Miku through a very necessary and thorough rinse cycle.
But for now, the tailless wonder seemed to be enjoying herself in the water.
Two baths and a shower later, Jermaine recognised that this was going to be a regular thing and swapped to pet-friendly hygeine products. And safety-locked all the toilets.
After the boyfriend moved in, it was another surprise.
He had been enjoying a soak while Jermaine readied the bath snacks[2]. The first Jermaine heard about it was an unmanly shriek and, "Miku! What the fuck?" A pause. "Ba-abe, the cat's swimming in the bath!"
"Oh yeah," said Jermaine. "She does that. Just... don't let her tread on your tender bits. It's all fine."
[1] Cat people agree. One does not own a cat. One is owned by the cat. Humans are merely their servants.
[2] Little food treats and a long soak makes the experience extra indulgent. If you're worried about wet hands - employ chopsticks.
[Image by Brad Pearson on Unsplash]
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