There was a loud explosion coming from the engine room, the ship was dead in the water, so to speak. The pirate looked at the humans in the hold, most of them still completely asleep from the gas attack, only a few coming around, and only one was wide awake. They were awash with mirth, laughing to themselves. The pirate demanded what was so funny. They grinned darkly at the pirate, then, and said in a tone that was both amused and filled with warning, "Damn, I'd forgotten how fearless kids can be!" -- Anon Guest
There are some questions that must not be asked, lest the answers happen to you. The most well-known is, How could [this/things] possibly get worse? Only slightly less well-known is, How much trouble could [it/they] be? Pirate Captain "Fang" Thyl'wryk has made the mistake of asking that question. They will learn the hard lessons of the universe in due course.
In retrospect, they made a number of completely logical decisions that could only backfire in specific circumstances. Knowing that Humans Adults were pliable if they had a chance of protecting their young, Captain Fang isolated everyone younger than maturity in a well-protected, well-guarded area far, far away from the holding bay where the adults were. In order to keep the adults tractable, they were allowed access to a security feed. The armed guards in every corner emphasized the threat. Do anything we don't like, and your children suffer. This should have worked, and it might have worked if this wasn't a ship full of nerds.
To be quite accurate - a ship full of Human nerds who saw nothing wrong with answering any and all questions a child would sit still to hear the answer to. Including coaching them through how to perform tasks no child should normally be expected to perform. Many of the Human children could disassemble just about anything on the ship. Lots of the older ones knew the finer points of coding. Then again, this was a ship full of Humans. Captain Fang and the crew of the Remora[1] really should have stayed away.
Captain Fang thought they were different. They thought they had an unbreakable strategy. They said, "It's a host of neonates, how much trouble could they be?" He would find out. Oh yes. He would find out soon.
The first Human to wake from the anaesthetic gas received the warning spiel with quiet judgement, as if appraising a threat, and spent some minutes watching the live feed from the holding area with a smile on their face. The smile should have been a warning, but Fang wasn't overtly concerned. The Humans would soon realise there was nothing they could do without harming their young in the process. What could possibly go wrong?
This.
If Fang had bothered to closely inspect the feed, they might have figured out that it was a very clever simulation using some games that the kids had access to. Excellent programming, but still a simulation plugged directly into the feed. In Fang's defence, one can't be familiar with every game created by the hands of a species that seeks stimulation in almost every waking hour.
By now, the children could be anywhere.
In fact, after disabling their guards by locking their livesuits, the children had got into the maintenance tunnels and were industriously sabotaging the ship in very specific ways. Ways that could disable the vessel, impair the invaders, and make things inconvenient at best and near-to-lethal for them at worst.
The explosion in engineering was just the start.
At which point, those Human adults who were awake started laughing. One of them said, "That has to be Mai."
"Hope nobody was close."
"Aw, come on. They've all seen Mythbusters. They know basic explosion safety."
"They know better than to annoy the Nae'hyn aboard anyway. They wouldn't have blown up anything that actually hurts the Gravy Drive. Just... incapacitates certain functions."
"It's probably a flashy cover for something way less spectacular."
At which point, Vipo crawled out of one of the access panels. They were a very small Human child in coveralls and holding what appeared to be a large water balloon.
Captain Fang had enough time to say, "What the--?" before Vipo threw it with stunning accuracy. The chemicals inside mixed as the vulnerable membranes broke, and Captain fang was coated in a rapidly-expanding, rapidly solidifying foam.
"Eat bathic mod'n chemistwy," lisped Vipo.
"THAT'S MY GIRL!" One of the adults cheered. "THAT'S MY GIRL! THAT'S MY BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL!"
The pirates never stood a chance.
[1] Translated for reading comprehension. The actual name was a similar ichthyoid with convergent evolutionary traits.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / kopirin]
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