I want to see aliens that think humans are cute. Like, they get a Ship's Human because Rules, and when they meet them, they're just...
Oh, it's so cute! Must. Protect.
And it ends in mayhem and hilarity. -- Anon Guest
They had been against having a Ship's Human, but they were exploring and documenting the Edge Territories, so it was mandatory. Those meaty Deathworlders would only cause chaos and destruction. They even had to get a new ship made entirely of metal, inside and out, just so the creature wouldn't accidentally destroy the interior bulkheads.
They had to have a special, isolated food area so their Deathworlder toxins wouldn't effect the rest of the crew, they had to have a separate waste disposal and ablution centre because some pathogens inherent in their body were best safely contained. And worse, they had a Deathworlder pet capable of random acts of destruction, known as a parrot[1].
They expected the worst possible creature to enter their ship. They didn't expect to fall in love at first sight with Humanity in general and Human Zo in particular. Ze was indeed larger than the Phaziid taking hir on, much heavier, too. What they didn't expect was a creature without a carapace. Humans were surprisingly soft and owned artificial carapaces. Humans had tiny little eyes much like the Phaziid's own larvae and this human was, under their carapace, the exact hue of a larval Phaziid.
The parrot was small enough to fit in Human Zo's hand, though this did nothing to stop its destructive ambitions[2]. They would find out about that at a later date. What obsessed them now was how a Deathworlder needed assistance in a Phaziid-friendly environment.
The human wore an exoskeleton to keep their bone density and muscular tone ready for their native gravity environment. The bird had a special gravity tank and dietary supplements to keep its own condition at premium. The Human might mass more than them, but they were taller, and their One Standard Gravity[3] bulk gave the subliminal illusion of larvaehood even worse.
They were so round and squishy by comparison, it was downright adorable.
Phaziid instinct is to nurture and protect their larvae. They are of the opinion that this should be a universal instinct. Human instinct is to protect anything more breakable than they are. Naturally, this caused some confusion during a pirate raid.
Human Zo wanted to do hir job and protect the Phaziid from the pirates. The Phaziid wanted to protect their 'larval' Human from the same enemy. After a minor scuffle in which Human Zo successfully and safely threw hir insectoid crewmates into a lifepod.
Then ze removed hir exo and successfully kicked some pirate derriere.
This did little to stop the Phaziid from gathering hir into their forelegs for a good grooming. They insisted on introducing hir as "This is our Human Zo, ze is soft and squishy and we love hir."
For the record, Human Zo introduced the Phaziid as, "my madbugs."
Pack-bonding is many things, none of them logical or reasoned.
[1] People who know parrots would agree.
[2] Parrots seem to hate the world and wish to disassemble it personally. Prove me wrong, I dare you.
[3] Ten Standard Distance Units per second per second fall acceleration. Cogniscent life generally occurs anywhere between zero point five and one point five. There are, naturally, outliers to this trend.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / elenamarchesini]
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