“My apologies but you are so similar to my damn cat”
“What make you sayyyy that?”
“Your reaction to catnip is exactly the same way as my cat” -- Anon Guest
Harmless substances are only harmless to some. Humans regularly imbibe carbonic acid because they find it tasty. In such cases, harmlessness is relative. In most cases, the phrase is "harmless but". For example, the Terran catnip plant is harmless, but it also functions as a narcotic for other species. How they prefer to take it is up to them, and it is fortunately not one of the very dangerous narcotics available to the Galactic Alliance.
In such situations, mishaps are bound to happen. Such as the recent spill on the trader vessel Big Jim's Cargo, which is neither large nor belonging to a Jim, but does indeed contain lots of cargo. Of which, a one kilogram bag of loose-packed catnip has just burst and spilled all over Human Warno. Most had been cleaned up, but small chaff particles have a way of persisting - just anyone who's run afoul of glitter within the last two months[1]. Human Warno had done her best, but was nevertheless very popular amongst the local Skitty population.
Companion Hrrau found Human Warno grumbling to herself and may have noticed the attractive scent. It was difficult to tell, initially, that the 'harmless' plant product had had any effect on them. Companion Hrrau was one of Nature's Huggers. They just naturally greeted anyone they knew with enveloping arms and the option of physically picking them up.
The purr should have notified Human Warno that something was amiss, but at that moment, the purr was a much needed balm on her shattered nerves.
"What's up, mx grumpy Human? said Hrrau. "Did you have a bad day?"
"Sideways and almost inside-out. So yeah. Dangerously close to being the worst day ever." Human Warno reached up to sink her fingers into Hrrau's fur. "Can I just bury my face in your bicep or something with optional screaming until the world is nicer to me?"
It was the nuzzling that did it. Hrrau was friendly, but not that friendly. "You can do any-thing you like," they singsonged. "Jus' lemme sniff..."
"Uh oh," said Human Warno. There are certain things one can do with a Skitty that can't be done with close to two hundred pounds of felinoid[2] muscle. Such as yeeting the feline in question enough distance away[3] that escape has reasonable potential.
Companion Hrrau said, "You smell good..."
"Thank you," said Warno, in the anxious tones of someone receiving intense affection from close to two hundred pounds of muscle. "But I really think we should get to Medical together to get us some decontamination."
"You scan as safe," purred Hrrau. They were almost knocking Warno over with their affectionate nudging. "What's the rush?"
"It's -uh- a personal safety issue," said Warno. "It might impact efficient ship function, I'm not sure."
"I like you," singsonged Hrrau. "You're my best friend."
"That's nice," said Warno, now realising that her feet were dangling above the floor. "You're high as a kite right now, so can you please take me over to medical? I need to be there and probably so should you."
"Hhhmmm... can't we just hug for five more minutes?"
Human Warno had to calculate the risk-reward ratio in telling Companion Hrrau that five more minutes was not a favourable option.
[1] This carries the inherent risk of also running afoul of glitter.
[2] Humans would say 'humanoid', but felinoids have a different opinion that it's wise to listen to. Most of that wisdom comes from the wrong end of felinoid claws. The word 'anthropoid' has been very, very politely suggested as a workable alternative.
[3] So long as this is done without malice nor intent to harm, many felines enjoy being thrown.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / artfotoss]
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