Human: What's everybody so upset about?
Crew: You're here? But you told the Last Lie!
Human: Don't you know me by now? I really hate lying. -- Anon Guest
"Wait," said Human Jef. "Are you mad that I'm alive?"
This quickly turned the mood, but not by much. "Of course not," said Companion Ryl. "We were mourning your loss when you turned up at your own memorial."
"And you were saying such nice things about me until you said, Oh flakking hell, there she is like a stray Powers-damned cat. I'm starting to think you don't like me."
Companion Ryl took a deep breath. "We're not mad at you," ze began. "We're mad that we spent so much emotional energy on a falsehood."
Kex spoke up. "We'll be glad you're back when we get over being angry that we were sad that we thought you were dead."
Human Jef counted tallies in the air as she unravelled that sentence. "Okay. Would any of you fell better if you expressed some of that anger for a while? I'm right here and you can hit me as much as you like."
Given that they were all Havenworlders, they were more likely to hurt themselves in the effort than make any great impact on Human Jef. Therefore, the crew's chief Medik said, "That's not a great idea."
"Or you could insult the heck outta me until you feel better. That's a good one. My people call it a 'roast'."
Companion Ryl had to ask. "Isn't that what you do to meat?"
"Yeah. The idea is to make the subject blush so much that it's plausible they're cooking themself in the process."
Of course it was. Of course Humans did that.
Ryl sighed, "You Humans are crazy."
"I love you guys too."
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / kevron2001]
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