As a Havenworlder the stuff in space is pretty scary, but I like trying new things. Asking a human to play "tag" was the worst decision of my life. -- Anon Guest
Humans are a walking paradox. They are level four point five Deathworlders, and are the most warlike species known in Galactic space, yet they are also the most caring and considerate cogniscents the Alliance has ever known. They're social creatures, requiring a modicum of positive physical contact for proper mental balance... yet there are highly antisocial types for whom solitude is a benefit. That said, Humanity tends to spread its pack-bonding indiscriminately throughout their surrounding areas.
Humans can be sensitive and insensitive, rough or soft, gentle or harsh... sometimes it's all one Human, and in the space of an hour. They are the laziest pursuit predators known to intelligent life, and will go out of their way to find a simpler means of doing literally anything. Faster, cheaper, easier... those seem to be the keys to Human fulfilment. All so they can spend more time playing games. It is the Human capacity for games that prompted me to try one of the simpler ones.
'Tag' should not have been a problem. It was, according to my research, a game played amongst their softer, younger varietals. A game made for infants and juveniles should not be much trouble for a Havenworlder. So I thought. I should have realised that instigating a game of Tag on a mixed-species vessel, so close to Human Silly Season, was so much more than a mistake.
Some games of Tag can survive amongst Humans for years.
"You're sure?" Human Syl said as I discussed the idea with hir in the Mess. "We can get a little intense sometimes, and Farr always goes overboard. Plus Humans in Predator Mode creep you little fuzzies out."
"But... this is a game," I objected.
"It's a game of hunt down the other guys. The kill is symbolic, but... it's still in there."
Rules were drawn out: No tag-backs, no tags during work cycles, no tags of a force that could possibly harm the tagee, and whoever is 'it' has to warn any room they enter with a cry of 'olly olly in free'. Those not playing are allowed to signal such with a rude gesture at 'it'.
The games... began.
Let me tell you, there is no greater exercise of growing horror and paranoia than a shipwide game of Tag. The daily status of 'it' changed rapidly amongst the Deathworlders. Once a Havenworlder such as myself became 'it', there was the unique experience of being persona non grata anywhere that heard the 'olly olly in free' from their vocal apparatus. When a Havenworlder wasn't 'it'...
Stocks of calming medications plummeted as paranoia rose. The worker by one's side could be 'it' and the rush was on to be among the first into a room, and thereby not leave until 'it' announced themselves, whereupon they would scatter to whatever bastions of safety remained.
Farr... went overboard. The Humans had forgotten to add the rule, no gilly suits and Farr... had a collection.
Many a Havenworlder had a near death experience when a shrubbery reached out and said, "Tag, you're it."
Fortunately for all aboard, anyone is allowed to stop playing at any time. Just as soon as they are no longer 'it'.
I have been 'it' for four months... may the gods help me, the Humans are still playing. The Humans are still playing...
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / nanettegrebe]
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