Clearly it’s a time machine! But why would you want to go to the year 580.08 (as a Finn, I assume the eight is the month, no other explanation to this weird date) when people eat only turnips and cabbage? Oh farts the amount of gas in the air! Talk about pollution!

Oh, it seems I read it wrong. It's the other way round. It’s the year 80085. I bet then, it is the same thing as in 580. People eat only turnips and cabbage.
Oh I know! Let's make predictions for the year 80085. And you always have to start it like Conan's house band singer starts the predictions singing: "In the year three thousaaaaaaaaaand." (You have to promise me that you won’t go to the year 80085 and check what the future brings.)

Okay, I'll go first:
"In the year eighty thousand eighty-fiiiiiiiiiiiiiive..."
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Sorry, word count 150 prevents me from writing more.