I would guess that Butoh dancing has some more rules and structure for those familiar with it?

Yes I think so too. Other than the things that spectators see right away, white paint and daily movements like walking. I haven't studied it, I just know that there is a dance style called Butoh and some trivia about it.

Yeah, I think your making sense, if I understood you correctly. If someone is offended or so uncomfortable when seeing art they don't like, they perhaps take it too personally or just can not deal with the negative emotions the art makes them feel. They prefer feeling glad, not sad because they can't handle it. Perhaps also generally too in their life.

As for the artist the way to deal with horrible things may be to create art. The assumption then is that the spectator either sees inside the artists head or if it's meant as a statement about the world, will wake up and start thinking and accept the things they feel about the art, not think that the art in any way is a personal attack.

Goya's The Disasters of War plates

Gruesome and awesome. So terrible but beautiful work.

When terrible things in life don't happen to you, one tends to forget that terrible things do happen all the time. Just to someone else. It's easy to just close your eyes and think about happy things if it's not directly happening to you at that time. And of course if you all the time think about how cruel life is, it would drive you crazy. So it's not just forgetting about the horrors of war or everything that is bad, it's actively forgetting. Choosing to forget. So that's where we also need artists. They (we) are the product of our time. Artists represent the state of the world and remind us all that the world isn't just a happy and sunny teletubbyland. There are also monsters here. And the archeologists digging our remains 500 or 5000 years from now, need to see our war plates.