steem-slap.rb

inertia(74)

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#steemspeak

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STEEM Slap

This is the script currently being used by @banjo on SteemSpeek.

class SteemSlap
  @verbs = %w(
    slaps hits pricks slays pummeles kills tortures embiggens shoves spams
    spanks fracks decorates feeds licks inverts smurfs stylizes attacks infects
    disappears krees flags mutes smooths kisses smacks
  )
  @adjectives = [
    'a large', 'an enormous', 'a small', 'a medium sized', 'an extra large',
    'a questionable', 'a suspicious', 'a terrifying', 'a scary',
    'a breath taking', 'a horrifying', 'a glitchy', 'a pixelated',
    'a cromulent', 'a semi-weird', 'a laggy', 'an auspicious',
    'a fracking', 'a manly', 'an undercooked', 'an amazing', 'an upside-down',
    'a smurfy', 'a spiffy', 'an uncaring', 'a deadly', 'a magical', 'a mighty'
  ]
  @nouns = [
    'brick', 'cooked fish', 'debonair potion', 'picture of Ned Scott',
    'The 2017 Roadmap', 'FIRE', 'rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle',
    'book entitled Beard Care by dantheman', 'Zistonian Battle Sign',
    'insomnia cookie stolen from Steemit, Inc.', 'wig of stellabelle',
    'carrot on a stick', 'unpowered redstone block', 'cube named Cave Johnson',
    'popcorn container', 'frack', 'set of antlers',
    'horse of a different color', 'smurf', 'marklar', 'badass honey badger',
    'neurotoxin', 'can of beanz', 'jaffa', 'the head of Karen McKersie',
    'Golos Backed Vodka'
  ]

  def self.slap ( user )
    "#{@verbs.sample} #{user} with #{@adjectives.sample} #{@nouns.sample}"
  end
  
  def self.combinations
    @verbs.length * @adjectives.length * @nouns.length
  end
end

if ARGV.join.length > 0
  STDERR.puts SteemSlap::slap ARGV.join ' '
else
  STDERR.puts "has #{SteemSlap::combinations} slap combinations, see: https://gist.github.com/inertia186/c34e6e7b73f7ee9fb5f60f5ed8f30206"
end