No it is not my business.

But I see that you don´t want to speek about it.

I hope your father was able to stand with you in your childhood.

Do you know Eugen Drewermann? I think not. But he is a genius living here in Germany.

The church doesn't like him because he has a different attitude than politics on many things.

He is committed to love, peace and justice.

The mainstream media doesn't listen to him. He was a priest and at the same time a psychotherapist. A wise sensitive and intelligent man even at the advanced age of 80+.

I think that's called wisdom. He once said that in everyone who does evil there is something that hurt him badly a long time ago.

He said that we don't have to fight wars if we learn to understand each other - including the other in his position, in his feelings and in his pain.

I think he's right, because that's the only way we can end the wars in this world by listening to each other, trying to understand each other - even those who think they might not deserve it.

The pain from back then, it affects your whole life, especially when you were a child. Do you have siblings who also suffered from it or may still suffer from it?

It would be understandable and comprehensible that you are unconsciously still angry at your mother because she just went into the light like that. The child in you will probably not be able to admit this anger, since children always think they have to love their mother and maybe also their father.

But maybe you blame yourself for the fact that no one out there in this world was able to bring your mum back to life back then. And maybe you are still angry about this injustice that happened to you and your family.

I do not know it. I don't have to know that either, but I'm sure that behind the facade of the asshole you describe yourself as, there is a human being, maybe even that child who suffered so terribly back then when mom died and still does looking for the culprits and an answer as to why...

Well - I can't give you that answer and I think if there's still something nagging inside you that wants to undo this injustice, maybe you should talk to people again who can help you overcome this pain. Because the fact that God took your mother away from you was indeed a great injustice.

This experience can lead to hatred - untold hatred.

The answer to this can only be love, mindfulness and love - no more, no less. As Charly Chaplin once said:

"Only those who are not loved hate, only those who are not loved."

In this sense - light and love.

I has to sleep now, because its late after midnight at Germany.

Best wishes to your future.

IT24