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Hi, guys!
I want to say something here:).
I had a long pause in drawing, working, I can say - living as well. Really long, it's been a month. And I used this time to think about where my life is going, how I live, how I take care of myself and what am I doing very day to get where I want to get. And interesting thoughts came to my mind.
First of all when I got sick I had to take a break from my drawing classes, cause it was impossible to go on. Not only because I was feeling myself too bad to work, but also cause I felt that something was really wrong with them. It was not my first CG drawing learning course, so I know how it usually looks and how I feel about them. Inspired, ready to work, super excited about new knowledge.
I felt completely different after first two weeks of study process. I was sad all the time, my drawings were not so good, and I was super upset about it. I was waiting for each feedback like if I was waiting for an inquisitor, and that's creepy, cause usually I waited for them impatiently to fix all my bugs and move forward.
When I lost possibility to work normally I got time to think about what went wrong. Was the class too hard? It really was, but there's no point in taking an easy one. Was I spending too much time making my homework? I did, but that's what I do, that's what study for, and no progress can be reached without hard work. Was the class not interesting for me? No, it's super cool, I chose it consciously.
Than what?
The teacher. Passive-agressive-depressive petty tyrant. We had four streams a week, and on each of them he never forgot to mention, how bad are our artworks and how lazy his students are. With this he every time spoke of himself as about a genius, who's level can never be reached for simple mortals like us.
I don't want to switch to another class, cause this is the one I actually need. And there's no other teacher. I guess I just have to think how I can limit this toxic influence, pay less attention. That's always hard for me, cause usually I tend to be really sensitive to what people say and how they do it. That's just my feature, I've always been like that. And that guy - he reminds me my dad, who never said that I did something good, not a single time.
I will get back to study in the end of April, so I have a few more time to think about it and develop a coping mechanism. And I hope I will manage.
It seems to me like this post is already long enough, and no one likes long-reads nowadays, so I will go on with my insights tomorrow:)
P.S. Look, she occupied me drawing spot;)
See you in the next post!
Love, Inber