Hi, guys!
Today I feel like I need a shelter. I used to live quickly, and it was easy while I was having hypomanic episodes of my BPD. It was easy to work 24/7, stay productive all the time, but now, when I mainly have depressions, with no energy of hypomania, sometimes I feel miserable and hopeless. The trick is - I do a normal amount of work, but can't get used to it, cause earlier I used to do much, much more. And to tell the truth it kills me. It's like I lost some kind of a superpower and now have to live like a regular person.
Well, I wish I could say that with no hypomanic episodes I also don't have depressive episodes, so I'm straight and calm, and everything is OK. But no - I'm fighting almost every day, and only sometimes my depression gives me a break of one or two weeks. Time that is not enough to fix everything before I fall into depression again.
So, today I decided that I'm taking a shelter day. I will not look a the clock, I will take my time, live slowly and feel this world in all it's beauty. In the morning I stayed in bed for extra 15 minutes, hugging my warm, sleeping dog - and it made me feel happy. Now I will go to the market and buy some vegetables - it also usually makes me happy, cause they're so tasty:) So - simple things for today, simple joy. And see you tomorrow!
See you in the next post!
Love, Inber