What am I searching for? What am I fighting for? These are questions I still ask at 48 years of age. I really liked the way you expressed the longing.

Out of all the passages I've ever heard along these lines, I think JL said it best.

Life is what happens to you
While you're busy making other plans.
So before you go to sleep
Say a little prayer
Every day, in every way
It's getting better and better

~ John Lennon