The blood trickled down everywhere. Numbness was the new description of my body; naked; bleeding; bruised. Just numb. In police custody, I was stripped search, after arrival, with an anal cavity search. There was an audience of 50 or more officers. Two of those officers walked me to my transformation, naked, like a float in a parade, all to watch. Two detectives and three officers were waiting for me in the interview room. That room would transform me into a person unrecognizable to anyone that I ever knew. The room was freezing. My first thought how can they not be cold? I did not realize they would warm up soon. I was their heat source. The next 10 hours I would endure, accept, allow, my transformation. All for a confession that would never come.
There is no description, no words that can ever place into another's soul the humiliation, the pain, the disgrace, the contempt, the anger, the pure rage that one feels. Unless you feel every strike, every fist, every shoe, every finger, every motion, you can never perceive the emotions that flow through the person, who is enduring it all. The pain had given away to numb. Another kick, another punch, their hands hurt, burning, stinging, going numb, does not stop.
The screaming in your ear, demanding you tell what you did. Describing her body, her bruises, the breaks, the anger drove into her with each motion. Screaming is louder and louder, until silence, no more sound. I look up they are still screaming but no sound. Someone muted the sound. Thank fucking GOD, I whisper in my head! This is all done to make me confess, make me give them the reason to justify this abuse. Once, I confess they are nullified; they completed what any sane man would to a man like me. I am pure evil of the worst kind. I kill beautiful young girls. I take their last breath, their innocence. I am the monster lurking in the shadows. Screaming, screaming, laughter. Their faces freeze change, good night.
Not allowed a phone call. No, Miranda was given. I was never arrested properly. No fingerprints, no mug shot, nothing was done by the law. This is not in my file as that was made quickly before the ambulance arrived. They were different than the monster in the shadows of Stella’s room. These monsters were stronger, more lethal; they could make their violence legal. Their faces, stunned, shocked, praying for my death. Wishing I am beyond hope, beyond medicine, beyond this world. FUCK YOU!!! Hell will send me back, for blood.
To be Continued..........
