Trust me, your English is NOT pathetic. Spoken English is incredibly difficult to learn. Written English is ten times harder. (Because the English language evolved in an incredibly assholish way). And

Yeah, but can you code the main points of this argument into a scatter-plot using R? If not, your data-science credentials are as lacking as this upstanding lady’s knickers.

Add Jenkem to that list of mind-expanders, cause I’m bringing all the ingredients! Unrelatedly, anyone know where to find the tastiest-yet-hygienically-questionable taqueria on the way to Acapulco?

Thanks a lot. I took your advice and started marketing my MAGA hats to NARAL and MoveOn mailing lists. 0% ROI on those ads so far, you jerk.

What I’m getting from all this is that I now have to stop calling my wife’s vagina my “Jew cookie.” Thanks for nothing Netherlands. Now take your clippity-cloppity shoes and clog your way down the road.

This is the most beautiful nothingness I have had the pleasure to...read(?) in a long time. Thank you.

No new innovative apples products, you say? Have you even tried the SweeTango?

So the economy is a mirror image of my sex life?

Except my testicles. Those have fully retracted into their “fear pose” inside my pubis.

מה פתאום? אתה רוצה ציפי? איזה כוס ... מממ

There goes my luxury spa trip to Hill 573...now I’ll have to stay with the commoners in איתמר, ugh...

Wow! Who would have thought that the Immediate Deity would choose to encode messages in the Hebrew bible with Talmudic loan-words taken from Greek! So can we do this stuff with any proto-IndoEuropean

I should have probably pointed out that this guy I used to know and have to deal with years back was a hardcore Serbian separatist from Knin. So my source of knowledge regarding Croatia is probably as

MY VOCAB PRACTICE My love of horses probably started when I used to want to tell my dad about my day at school but one of his girlfriends was coming over to wrestle with him in his room, so he would order

I'm jealous of you because my first time last way too long. Although to be fair, I'm pretty sure I was focusing way too much on the bellybutton stuff, and, honestly, I felt like I needed to actually use

I have, like, a dozen viruses ready to infect these guys, but we need to figure out a way to get them to my house so I can bleed in their mouths.

Somebody's gotten into the Flakka stash again.

I loved your response and I am in agreement with you, except for the last sentence. It's not that you said anything wrong. It's just that I said that exact thing once, and my wife kicked me in the face

Don't get me wrong. Most guys think their own wives are way hotter than Kate Winslet. But not during "conversation about shirt," while Titanic is on. That's the exception. Thank you for commenting!

Who even knew a "typical guy style" could be that way that you just said it was? I support what you just said there no matter what.