Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist and a Harvard professor, widely known for her 2012 Ted Talk, actually the second most popular of all time, wrote a book about Presence. You may not know the term and what this word actually means, so let's figure it out together.
What is Presence
The author explains the term as «the state of being attuned to and able to comfortably express our true thoughts, feelings, values, and potential». In a way, presence is the power of our body and mind, is the exact opposite of that overwhelming feeling we all have felt sometime in our life, the emptiness, the feeling that we cannot accomplish what we really want. To explain the term a bit more, the author says «Presence emerges when we feel personally powerful, which allows us to be acutely attuned to our most sincere selves. In this psychological state, we are able to maintain presence even in the very stressful situations that typically make us feel distracted and powerless. When we feel present, our speech, facial expressions, postures, and movements align. They synchronize and focus. And that internal convergence, that harmony, is palpable and resonant—because it’s real. It’s what makes us compelling. We are no longer fighting ourselves; we are being ourselves». We should really focus at the latter phrase. What's more important than being ourselves?
It’s who we are
As a social psychologist, Amy Cuddy uses a test to stress people out and measure their responses, a test called Trier Social Stress Test (TSST). The test is about focusing on the big idea of Self Affirmation, the power of living what we really want and do the things we are supposed to do, which raises a deeper question… What are your core values? The author wants you to find three words that really describe you and are the most essential to who you are. You should really try it.
Portrait image source [1]. Image created on canva.com
Expand your mind, expand your body and be Powerful
The major thing you should try to do is to remember the times you felt powerful, how good it felt and how bad you felt when you felt powerless. You shouldn't focus on the latter one of course, but you should drive away the negative feelings. They won't help you in any way. Do you know what could really help you? Prime and nudge yourself every day. Is there a better feeling than do everything that can get you to be the best you can? I don't think so. Think of all the things that encourage you throughout the day, the stuff that really matters for you and makes you the best YOU, you can be. To quote the author, «That’s how it works. In each challenging situation, we nudge ourselves: we encourage ourselves to feel a little more courageous, to act a bit more boldly—to step outside the walls of our own fear, anxiety and powerlessness. To be a bit more present. And incrementally, over time, we end up where we want to be... even if we couldn’t have said where that was when we started.” The most important thing you should remember is that your body and mind communicate. When you expand your body, the mind will follow. And when you expand, you really feel powerful.
Amy continues and talks about something called iHunching. You may find the word funny, but the meaning of it it's the exact opposite. Think of how powerless and noneffective you are to other people when you try to have a conversation with them but all you can do is focusing on your iphone. Now you can think what every little screen can do to you and your social skills. So… Put your phone away. Interact with people!
Image source [2]
I’m so excited and I just can’t hide it
Let's talk about something really exciting now. As Cuddy says, you should always ask yourself what makes you excited and make yourself feel the excitement. The certain arousal will leave the negative feelings behind you and basically you will avoid feeling stressed out. You should feel excited, it's a great feeling!
Have you ever asked yourself how great is your boldest, the most authentic part of yourself? If not, you really should. Imagine how wonderful your life will be if you were able to walk around as your true you. The bolder you, the real you. The one you really want to be and others want to see. You better believe the last part. We are all more attractive when we embrace, show and love our true selves. To quote Maya Angelou «Stand up straight and realize who you are, that you tower over circumstances». Overall, Amy Cuddy talks about presence, priming and nudging, but what you should really keep in mind is that your true self, is surely the best one. You may not know it, but if you really think about it, you will really be able to see the perfection of it.
That was it ! A few simple steps for us to achieve a powerful presence that can fascinate and magnetize people. Are you gonna do it ?
And until we all be present at the moment,
Be healthy, smile and Steem.
PS: Now, that you’ve reached the end of this article about Amy Cuddy’s book “Presence”, I suppose that you know what you could do and that is upvote, resteem and follow, because this way we can create more. Right ?
Additional Material
Amy Cuddy's official web page/bio
The famous TED Talk