There are some philosophies shared and counsel delivered to many of us in life, where in, they sound very good and appropriate but in reality, it is impracticable.
I’ve heard many people insist happiness is a choice, happiness is something you create by yourself, don’t let anyone upset you, don’t let anyone get to you, ignore this; ignore that, don’t let it affect you, don’t let anyone’s behaviour make you feel bad or upset, be strong emotionally and all that.
These advice and counsel sound really wise but I assure you, it can at times be unrealistic. You see, human beings are designed with emotions, we are designed to feel any and every form of word, act and attitude directed towards us either good or bad. The life wire of our co-existence as mankind is in our ability to feel one another – our emotions; it is what empowers us, motivates us, and inspires most of what we do. We act and react based on feelings – our emotions. Even when we choose to be logical, it is still an emotional decision to get rid of sentiments. Being objective is the decision to act outside of our real feelings in order to achieve a desired end. Being emotional hence, is basically being human.
Ladies and gentlemen, when someone close to you, related to you for instance your parents, siblings or even your spouse does something hurtful to you regularly, it is impossible to be indifferent, it will definitely get to you, you can choose not to respond or react but it will get to you and you’ll become emotionally worked up.
When you’re cheated, lied to, lied against, accused wrongly, oppressed, abused or disrespected, you will feel it, you can choose not to respond or react in anger or disapproval, but you will feel it. Not responding to hurtful treatment is not the same as not feeling it at all. However, when you’re consistently treated wrongly and unfairly, when you’re denied your right, your entitlement, and benefits, you will feel it really hard and if all these persist, you cannot be a truly happy person.
This simply means it is practically impossible to create happiness for yourself in the midst of perpetual pain, abuse and injustice. You cannot surround yourself with people that hurt you regularly and try to create happiness within it. You cannot remain in a sad situation and try to create happiness within sadness.
Happiness is not something you create by denying the reality of the hurt and pain you feel. Happiness does not come by pretending a cause of pain doesn’t exist, happiness is truly created by confronting and addressing the pain factors, situations and people that make you unhappy.
When the elements change and become positive, when the people become nicer, when the factors become favourable, your happiness then becomes automatic and realistic.
You can’t confess happiness, you can’t wish for happiness, you can’t assume happiness, you must work on the components responsible for your emotions for you to enjoy real happiness.
Think with me today, what are those things or that very thing in your life that is the source of your unhappiness? Can you change it, is it possible to change it? If not, can you detach emotionally from it?
Ladies and gentlemen, true happiness does not come by going for happiness itself. You must work on the components that can bring you true happiness.
The ability to laugh genuinely in the midst of painful situations don’t come by denial but by working on the components for real happiness. Permit me today share with you the components you need to activate in order to be truly happy:
When you are guilty of any form of wrong doing especially against your maker, a loved one or humanity at large, you can hardly be happy. The guilt will keep frustrating your desire and quest for happiness. When you’ve been mean, inconsiderate, wicked and treacherous to other people, your happiness will naturally disappear. A key component for true happiness is a clear conscience. Make that effort today to wright all your past wrongs and you’ll become happy.
Serenity, this is the state of being calm, peaceful and untroubled. Serenity is difficult when you’ve sown bad seeds or carried out evil deeds in time past. In your mind you’re expecting the repercussion of your past evil, so with every situation that appears like your karma, your calmness and peace evaporates. If you’ve stolen before, you believe people will steal from you. If you’ve badly used someone and broken that person’s heart before, you believe it will happen to you or your children. Serenity can only come through restitution and spiritual intervention. Secure the forgiveness of your maker and that person you offended.
Pursuit. Happiness is activated when you have set goals and you’re doing something each day that moves you closer to your dream destination. Without a vision, dream, obligation and destination, your life becomes kind of empty. When you have a pursuit, it brings excitement and fun into your life, a critical component for happiness is a vision to pursue.
Healthy Living. Health is wealth they say. When you live a life with disregard for your health, you will hardly be happy when the implications begin to unfold. When you consume toxic contents, over eat, become overweight and unhealthy, you’ll hardly be happy. Healthy living makes you happy.
Love. You need to love someone and you need love from someone. Love makes one very happy. We all want to be loved, encouraged, motivated and pampered. We want to be cared for, protected and secured. Unfortunately many marital and relationship partners these days are experiencing exploitation not true love. Almost everything has become conditional, many earn the affection, attention, security and care either with cash or kind. This frustrates every affair, true love is genuine and from the heart.
Money. Money can actually buy happiness. When you can pay all your bills and afford all the good things you want in life, it will make you happy. Money is a key component to happiness. Poverty and insufficiency makes one afraid, insecure and disrespected. Money is important in life, money is important to be happy.
Ladies and gentlemen, if you want to be happy, it’s not just a mental thing – it’s not struggling to ignore pain and hurt, true happiness is the ability to change your pain factors and create the components for happiness. Ladies and gentlemen, be happy.
