"That's crazy!" That's the other voice's usual exclamation whenever I want to do things differently, try something entirely new, or even when I'm just thinking about a new idea. It's like a guard always on alert, and ready to keep me from stepping into anything unfamiliar.
"Oh yes, but it could be fun. If it goes sideways, we can try again. Additional experience and maybe lessons too!" I often tease it back. I found it quite effective in taming that inner gremlin.
Well, sometimes it agrees; at other times, it insists on its warnings. Pretty stubborn, I say. Having such conversations or even arguments with it is quite funny. It sulks when it gets cornered; it chuckles sarcastically when it thinks it won, ready to splatter its favorite phrase, I told you so.
"Yeah, yeah. You always do, and I did hear you. So what's next now then?" I would ask. It gets really quiet, totally stumped. "Hmmm.... Nothing for now? Okay, let's give it time." I'd say, ending the conversation.
Truth is, my inner gremlin was so harsh. It turned me into a sensitive soul who easily doubts her self-worth, questions her morals, and becomes vulnerable and defensive. I used to waste days, weeks, or months trying to bounce back then. But thank goodness it no longer has such power in recent years. While it still attacks and it stings at times, it doesn't wrap me up or take away my sanity to the point I'd feel or even think I'm doomed.
Little did I know that the teasing and lighthearted conversations would help greatly in softening (tuning down) that inner critical voice. It was an accidental discovery, if I can call it so. One time, it just wouldn't shut up no matter how much I tried to ignore it. It kept replaying trashy thoughts, guilt, regret, shame. "So what do you want me to do now, then? Die?" I yelled. It didn't say a thing.
Confrontation seems to be its nemesis, but being argumentative is exhausting, so the shift to playful banter.
Photo by João Camargo. 20092026/09:37ph