Giving Things Time [Patience]

When something bothers me or an unexpected thing comes up, I often mull things over and over in my mind, silently debating, deliberating, and arguing with myself about this or that. My mind would play scenarios too.

Each time I try to make a decision and discouraging thoughts arise, and I find myself back to square one, and then I feel anxious all over again. It gets frustrating. And if I couldn't hold it any longer, I would act rashly.

Well, that was the usual process, anyway. Then the above wisdom came to my attention, and it hit me, I gotta give things time and be more patient. And that is what I have been practicing recently. I would mentally remind myself to calm down and think things through thoroughly, and not force it when nothing clear is coming out. I'd say, "Tomorrow is another day," to keep myself less anxious.

The thing is that sometimes, I want to get on with things right away. I want answers to questions now. I like solutions to problems soon. Anxiousness builds up when things remain unsettled. It makes me uncomfortable.

My upbringing might have something to do with it. Growing up, I observed that my parents rarely postponed things. When they plan to do something, it gets done soonest. They wouldn't say, "Let's wait until next week." When a problem arises, they would sit down and discuss it, and when a solution is decided, they would apply it soon after. Looking back, "later" was seldom spoken in our household.

I know those were a different thing, but it influenced me somehow. So waiting hasn't been my strong suit ever since, because my patience can be very short, although it can surprisingly be miles long at other times.

These days, I would ask myself, "Can I not wait if it would give me a better deal?" If I get some tense feelings, I would think things through again. Otherwise, I would interpret it as a 'Yes' and would enjoy the wait, letting time take its course.

Through one of my biggest dilemmas over the last few months, I realized that waiting patiently in quiet contemplation will likely provide clarity and a better answer or present a good solution to whatever concern I have.

I have a long way to go in developing my mental or emotional fortitude, but I am working on it and am willing to give it time.