During a working trip to his company's headquarters for its annual management meeting, Ade bumped into a former classmate whom he hadn't seen since they left the University seven years ago. Let's call this classmate of his Mr. X. Ade was a supervisor at one of his company's most iconic outlets which was located in a highbrow area of the country. He was in the A-league in the company.
After exchanging pleasantries, "What brings you here?", Ade asked Mr. X. "I was going to ask you the same thing. Mehn, it's been ages. What are you doing here yourself?" Mr. X jovially fired back at Ade. Then, they hugged and exchanged more banters.
After the banters, Mr. X told Ade he was resuming as the new CEO of the company before adding that official information hadn't been out yet but that an announcement would be made during the company's annual management gala holding the next day.
"Really?" Ade asked in bewilderment. True to his words, as the gala wound down the next day, an announcement was made that Mr. X was taking over as the company's new CEO. Everyone at the gala, including Ade, gave a standing ovation to their new CEO. When the dust had settled, it dawned on Ade, his former classmate is his new boss.
After Mr. X's resumption as CEO, he invited Ade over one day for an after-work hangout where they reminisced on their time at the University. Ade was flown to and from the venue of the hangout in the official aircraft of his former classmate turned boss and CEO. After Ade arrived, they spoke at length about all their former classmates, some of whom they hadn't seen since graduation. "Guy, you were a genius back then. You raised the bar and made sure we followed suit", Mr. X said to Ade. In deed, back at the University, Ade was the most brilliant student in his class. In fact, he won the Vice Chancellor's prize during their graduation ceremony. All through their undergraduate studies, Ade, as leader of his class, would organise tutorials and make-up classes for his colleagues. Many of them, including Mr. X would later admit that those extra classes were the reasons they managed to pass.
After that meeting, here was where the problem began with Ade. Although Ade was happy for his classmate, for many days after that encounter, he was heart broken and sad.
Ade kept asking "How come Mr. X suddenly, from no where, is better than me despite the fact at the University I was way ahead of him?" "Oh, you mean it was because of Mr. X that the company went out of its way to bring in an outsider when I was the most qualified insider both in terms of results and experience? What does he now know that I don't? What's his experience? Is it not the same Mr. X?", Ade asked himself some more.
For many days, Ade lost his peace comparing himself with his former classmate and wishing that there was a role reversal. As this continued, Ade's motivation for work dropped. The figures from his outlet the company's golden egg, also began to falter.
As humans, we all often into the unhealthy trap of comparison. "Why is he better than me?" "How come she has what I don't have?"
One common denominator when we compare ourselves with others in this way is that we only compare ourselves with those who appear or are indeed better than us. However, we forget to ask ourselves if their success is truly deserved or if there's something they know or are doing, that we do not know or are not doing! Yet we just assume that it is birthright to be better than everyone else, and that no one deserves to be one moment ahead of us. But is that what life is about?
When next you feel hard done by life and you want to compare yourself to your others, let me teach you a new way of doing it.
After you are done comparing yourself with those better than you, look for a mad man in your neighbourhood and ask yourself, "Why is he the one who's mad? Why not me?" Then look for another person who's way lower than you on the ladder, say that friend of yours who since graduation has yet to find a job, and ask yourself, "Why him, why her, why not me?"
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