It's 01:02 am over here, and one of those nights where sleep seems to elude me. I鈥檓 stuck with my restless mind whilst tossing and turning mindlessly on my bed until my mind ponders on something, the one thing I have always thought about, and that is being a mother. I couldn鈥檛 help but come up with this post while thinking about this.
To begin with, this post was triggered by my conversation with a friend a few days ago.
To some of us, motherhood can seem scary and overwhelming. Children are blessings from God, no doubt, but how do I cater for these blessings without them getting hurt? How do I train them in the right way while I am still figuring things out? I am my daddy's baby, how do I magically become someone鈥檚 mummy and is expected be a good one without losing my mind? These questions always haunt me.
I love children, I mean I could literally adopt my friend's kids if they let me, but it's one thing to be the favourite Aunt and to carry out your auntie鈥檚 duties effortlessly, but another thing to be the mother of these kids, Lol there is no running away from it. You can't just pop up with ice cream and disappear the next minute, nor can you show up whenever you like. You have to be ever-present, observing, solving problems, experimenting, and learning on the job.
I keep asking myself, would I get it right? Would my motherly instinct be sharp? Would I persevere? Or will I resign to fate when it becomes overwhelming in the future? Like they say, you never know till you get there.
I admire mothers a lot, I love how they carry themselves even when things are falling apart and I sure as hell love how they kinda know the right things to say to their kids, if not all, majority of them are doing a good job.
My fear of motherly duty stems from being taken care of all my life . Growing up, my sister did all the motherly duties, heck I was only helping out. Somehow people always take care of me and it seems like there hasn't been room to actually take care of people in my own space and for a long period of time. So I'm worried that when the mantle of leadership is handed over to me, will I be able to lead effectively?
I know there is always room for learning and improvement, but will I hang in there enough to learn and get it right? Lol, I guess I'll just have to wait and see and when that time comes, just maybe I'll be able to refer to this post and smile, "I DID IT!!" fingers crossed guys.
Motherhood is an incredible journey, and I sure as hell want to do it with grace. I don't want it to be the reason I lose myself or regret embarking on this journey in the first place.
Times like this are when I wish I had binoculars to take a peek into the future and see how I turn out. If I had such an opportunity I probably wouldn't get all worked up and wouldn't be making this post in the first place.
While I hang in there and watch as everything unfolds, I'll try to stay positive and be hopeful.
Shout out to all the mothers out there, I don't know how you all do it but you all are an inspiration.
If you are a mother reading this post, how do you do it? How do you manage the chaos and still carry yourself gracefully like the Queen that you are? I'd love to read your story in the comments.
All images are mine except otherwise stated.
Thanks for stopping by
Loads of Love馃グ馃グ
XOXO
