I.
@iantuasonThis is the rule -- when a story here is said to be true, it is inevitably untrue. The story I'm about to tell you, however, is true.
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RE: That one time Bozo the Clown ran for President and almost got assassinated in Dallas (a true story, as told to me by Bozo himself)
Speaking of clowns and presidential impersonators, Will Ferrell explains that if he was a fighter pilot, his call sign would be "Clown Penis" (zoom into his badge). Because like a clown penis,