Last year was really daring for me. I saw myself in positions that I always try to run away from. I even pray them away. But guess what? Those things came, and you needed to see how God helped me go through them like a pro. All my fears were almost for nothing, but they pushed me to expect the best even in the face of uncertainties. For the best part, last year taught me something about myself that I never thought I had. All my life, I have always seen myself as that person that doesn’t take just anything from anyone. Once I’m not comfortable with something, I always find a way to say my mind because I don’t like keeping things in my mind for too long.
Well, this year, I learnt to compromise a lot on that. I let so many things go—both good and bad. I was sad about some of them, and I even regretted it, but it just proved to me how much anything is possible if only we try. I always thought I can’t do that. I mean, this thing hurt me so bad, and someone is expecting me to just keep quiet about it and act like I’m fine with it? How is that even possible? It’s not nice, so I didn’t even care to do it until last year. I have been trying it before last year, but somehow, I always say my mind in the end.
Last year, I realized that I was focused too much on speaking the past years, and things were still very much the same. So the previous year, I tried a different approach, and it seemed to be better than what I was used to. I met different people that taught me how to be the bigger person and let some things slide. Talking too much only makes people disregard you more. This new year, it’s part of my plans to talk but not the usual way of trying to prove myself to anyone. My actions are what I’m going to hold accountable this year, and not my words. If my actions aren’t doing the work, then I’m probably just deceiving myself and others.
Besides the fact that last year taught me how to speak less, it also taught me so many other lessons that I wished that somehow I had learnt them earlier. I made so many mistakes last year, and it only opened my eyes to the reality that I have so much I need to learn. And just because I find it hard doesn’t mean it isn’t good for me or it won’t be possible. I just really pray to implement the lessons I have learned from the past year(s) in this New Year.
This is my entry for the realtalk prompt. Thank you for reading through. 💜
