Your post brought me to tears. I also lost my mother recently and believe me, the regrets are always there when a person die, no matter what. I experienced it when my hubby died, my sister and the latest my mom. Even when we have been caring for her the last few years.
Yes, it's good to acknowledge the regret, but try to not blame yourself. As you said, the acknowledgement does count for something, lesson learned and maybe we only learn the hard way.
But what I learned through my regret was to not overly blame myself. I frequently remind hubby 2, if we had a fight on the day that I die, don't have regrets. You never know when it's a person's time to go. Life is lived every day, sometimes we loved each other to bits, sometimes we hurt each other, it's like business as usual, that is life. We have no control over when death knocks on the door.
Even when I was with my mom the last years and I, my dad and the rest of our family tried our best to care for her, she sometimes made me cross, made me cry, made me impatient. Now I can sit with the regrets every day, what if? What if? Nothing can be changed about the past. Let's leave that behind and focus on all the wonderful memories.
I want to watch my mom's memorial service on the first anniversary of her death on 9 November.
Strongs for your grieving process.