So maybe that's what happens to the ladies in the movies, too? Terrible sleep schedule. Seems preferable to "some people just look like that".

I'm the same, though. I don't like small talk, at all. And when I do try to engage in it, I'm obsessed by the thought it's trite, stupid, and that the other person must think me an idiot. I don't know why, but I figure it's rooted somehow in self-esteem? I mean, otherwise I shouldn't be so quick to think others think I'm dumb, boring or a bitch (I think that, too!). So I'm trying to use facts to disprove these statements.

At the end of the day, something that works for me is remembering people really don't pay as much attention as we think they do. Largely because a lot of the time, they have these same internal monologues going in their heads, too. So they're not even looking at what an idiot you're being, 'cause they're worried they are.

I'd say I hope next time is easier, except I know it won't, and also read in the comments there prolly won't be many other meet-ups? Still, I hope you find some type of knitting get-together, as it sounds fun!