I'm the first to admit I don't do too good in crowds. Walking to opening drinks night, I felt anxious. Like, what was I doing here, meeting all these strange crazy Internet-money people?
Looking in the mirror.
Sort of.
I was in 2 minds about doing a goodbye Hivefest post, but nestled here in my cozy goodbye Split bus, I figured I'd give it a shot. It's not a photo post. I'm not that brave to go up to people and ask for a selfie
Nor do I want any. So this isn't that.
It's more of a reflection. As someone struggling to find community and define a space where I feel at home, I'm glad I didn't give in to that opening night anxiety and crawl into my too familiar shell.
Coffee community caffeinating with 
Winding down from the chaos that is Hivefest has been slow and strange for me and I realize part of it was the intensity of connecting with so many people. It takes a while for most of us to reach a level of connection and bravery to speak to others on another level. So we don't.
We wanna human but don't know how to human. So we mostly talk bullshit and surface bravado instead.
Humaning with the one and only 
With Hiveians, though... well, some still talk the talk. Some know how to do the behind the screen but not the in the flesh and that's alright. But if you're lucky enough, you get to see behind some people's screens. You get a glimpse into who they really are.
For a while now I've had this obsession about the human looking out through your eyes at this great big unfriendly world. And how if you're quiet enough and can put aside your own bullshit and fear for long enough, you steal glimpses into them.
Spying on antique beer divination practices with 
I had loads of exciting conversations in Split. I feel Hive makes that a little bit easier for us, you know? It seems that we've agreed to put aside the lies and trivialities nd insecurities and be genuine. Both on-chain and off-chain. I've been doing it a fair bit online. I love my Hive people. But from afar and in small doses. In person and for a full-on week, I need to process that. It's been wonderful and exciting. But much.
I forgot how powerful it can be to be around other people who are also on the quest with you. Who are quirky and a little weird. Changing (don't look now). Who are trying to be...more. Who want you to get to know them and to be seen. Who want to know you without settling for the shallow faces you typically present to the world.
That's...intense. So I ain't got a lot of words right now. And I ain't got a lotta pictures. But I have a lot more ideas and space in my heart for the people I got to interact with over the past week.
And I'm really grateful for that.
Sooo... bye, Split.
I didn't ask the folks in the pictures if I could post them. I think you all look lovely but if you think you look fat or something, let me know, I'll find a stock photo.
Also, if I didn't tag you doesn't mean I didn't like you. Or who knows. See you at the next one to find out (if I'm not too broke next year and it's not too cold 😆).
I'm probably really happy I met you. Whoever you are. Or decide you might be.
