According to my study, two to six years old children mostly will lie. How could that be? The behavior of lying is related to discipline. The more strict your discipline, the more the children will lie. Parents want to teach them not to lie but they afraid the way they teach is wrong.
根据研究两岁多以上的孩子就会说谎，而且四到六岁的孩子有百分之九十以上有说过谎了。 另外的百分之十说他没有说谎其实就是说谎。那怎么会这样呢？ 第二个研究发现，就是说谎的行为跟管教有关。原来管教越严格，孩子越会说谎。所以对于说谎我们很想教，但是又很怕教错。
这里有三个步骤当你孩子说谎时，爸妈应该怎么办
There are three steps here when your child is lying, what or how the parents should do.
- Don't be too anxious to respond
When the child lies, Mom and Dad don't be too anxious to respond. There are a lot of factors for children lying. First, he may be afraid of punishment. Second, because he wants to attract the attention of adults. Third, it is possible that he wants to escape from what he does not want to do. Fourth, it is possible that he does not admit defeat. There are so many reasons, if you rush to give reaction, then how do you judge out? Usually when the child lying, father and mother will be anxious to respond, curse the child why to lie? How can a child lie? Who teach you to lie? If you lie again and I'll hit you. But do you realize that when the child under strong pressure, he may say the second lie, the third lie. Under pressure, adults are not necessarily will tell the truth . The child's first lie is instinct, the second and third lies is caused by parents. So, parents do not rush to respond, to tell their own lies is the development of the child through the process.
1） 不要着急反应
- 当孩子说谎时，爸爸妈妈不要着急反应。因为孩子说谎的因素有很多。第一，有可能他怕惩罚。 第二，就是因为他想要吸引大人的注意力。第三，有可能他想要逃避他不想做的事情。第四，有可能他不認输。有这么多的原因，如果你急着做反应的话，你怎么判断的出来呢？通常当发现孩子说谎时，爸爸妈妈都会急着反应，骂孩子为什么要说谎? 小孩子怎么可以说谎？是谁教你说谎？ 你再说谎我就打你。可是你有没有发现孩子在强大的压力之下，他有可能说第二个谎，第三个谎。在压力之下，大人都不一定会说实话，更何况是小孩。孩子的第一个谎是本能，第二三个谎是爸妈做错而造成的。所以，爸妈不要急着反应，要告诉自己说谎是孩子发展的必经过程。
2 Give your child time
- when we find out that the child is lying, we will want the child immediately give us an answer. Mom and Dad immediately want the child to tell the truth. This action will only extract more lies from the child. When you find out the child is lying, tell them, " Think again what happen just now , tell mum and dad when you ready to tell the truth." Talk nicely to them. When we want the child to tell the truth, we should give them time. Because the child cannot tell the truth when under strong pressure .Is nature that the children will escape punishment.
2） 要给孩子时间
- 当我们发现孩子说谎的时候呢，其实我们会想要孩子马上给我们一个交代。爸妈要求立刻马上说实话只是逼出更多谎言。当你发现孩子说谎时，跟他说“你想清楚到底怎么回事，想好了再跟爸爸或妈妈说实话。” 要孩子说实话，就要给他时间。 因为孩子不可能在强大压力之下会说实话。孩子会逃避惩罚其实是天性。
3 Giving reward to the honesty is more important than punishment
- We all punish the child when they lie without rewarding honesty. Everything is punished, the children do not know the benefits of honesty. When the child made a mistake by lying, parents reaction should first praise the truth, and then tell him where his mistake is. In the process of teaching the children not to lie we rarely give rewards to the honesty of them.
3）奖励诚实比惩罚更重要
- 我们都惩罚说谎的行为而没有奖励诚实。凡事都是惩罚，让孩子不知道诚实的好处。当孩子犯错说谎，爸妈的反应应该先赞美说实话，然后告诉他他的错误在哪里。所以，奖励诚实是我们在教说谎的这个过程中很少做到的。
We should give more encouragement and rewards to the children instead of scolding and punishment.
We all want children not to lie, but those steps
#Don't be too anxious to respond
#Give children time to think
#Reward for honesty
Are you doing these three steps in the right way?
我们都希望孩子不要说谎，但是呢在这个
父母别着急反应
给孩子思考的时间
奖励诚实行为
这三个步骤你都做对吗？