It is heart breaking how homes go apart these days and time, this is one thing that has given me sleepless night and I always wish that there is a way I could put a stop to it. Wondering how we got to this level, I tend to ask myself several questions of which some of them I get the immediate response and others I don't get the desired response. Most times I deliberate over this same issue with my husband and we have a stand to it.
Many people during courtship are not sincere to themselves, they focus so much on the love and gifts they share with each other and forget that there will be a time that love seems to fade away especially when kids starts coming and the family have more needs to meet. Many times I get so tired and I feel like having my freedom so as to give myself some more care because with kids you have little or no privacy at all, but one thing keeps me going: that is the purpose we shared together before we said, I do.
Many things push people to divorce, ranging from lack of trust to resources down to an abusive spouse. When you talk about truth in a marriage relationship, this is so important because without trust, everyone around your spouse becomes a suspect, and this could be so dangerous. When a man discovers that he has a wife who lies at any given instance, it becomes more difficult for him to trust her, and the same is applicable to the wife too. Talking about resources, I have a family who is in confusion today because of inadequate trust when it comes to resources.
Before they got married, the wife was earning less than 15k in naira, while the husband was a government worker. Soon after the wedding, the wife got a federal job, and she earns more than the husband. Now she refuses to share her income for the growth of the home. I have heard many women say that the man's money is our money, while her own is for her own use. Presently the home is going down because the man has left the bear to bear the financial burden of the home. Last in my point is the issue of violence. When it comes to violence in a marriage, I encourage both parties to stay apart for a while so it won't lead to the loss of any of the parties.
Many women, including men, have lost their lives at the hands of an abusive spouse. Of a truth, there are lots of traumas children of separated homes go through, especially when it is not properly managed, but the trauma grows to be worse if any of the parents loses his life in the process of staying because of the kids. To me, I don't, for any reason, encourage any woman to take the kids along with her if they are separated because the kids belong to the man, and he should know how to care for them unless there is a legal backing and he is ready to send money for the kids' upkeep every month. The mental health of anyone is more important, as I said earlier; if the marriage turns out to be abusive and includes domestic violence, the marriage should be set aside.
I don't see any just reason why a sane man or woman should lay his hands or an object on the other party. There are procedures to be taken before filing for a divorce. As a Christian, I don't support divorce in any way but back up anyone who wants to do so if it is abusive and involves divorce. To make it official, both families need to be in the know, and if they have tried to settle them to no avail, then the church will be brought in. The couple will be talked to on several occasions, including counseling that is backed with several intercessions.
Marriage is good, and it is the coming together of two imperfect hearts that should be ready to work towards perfection.Thank you for reading my post, my entry to the first edition of the Hive Learners Contest Week #165. See you in the next edition.
