I am a child in a family whose father and mother have stopped talking to each other.
Every time something happened, a small quarrel was repeated, and even then, a family that had been happily having fun came to an abrupt end. My mother has always had a strong mood and overprotection against children, and my father was a self-paced one and was laissez-faire for children.
I don't know where it fits now, but when I was little, I often traveled with my family. My father laughed at me, saying that if he told me a silly joke, my mother would stop, and sometimes my mother would stop him from going crazy. Both of them, however, thought that they were honest people.
At first I thought it was a usual fight.
Shortly after going to high school, my parents had a big quarrel. Apparently.
I wasn't there. I think. He said that the quarrel was a little more important than usual and that he developed from there.
From the next day, my mother stopped talking to my dad, except for clerical ones.
I didn't know what happened at the time. I was so scared I couldn't ask what happened and I thought I shouldn't. I was afraid that something more might break.
At first, I desperately tried to get between my parents. I talked about the good points of my mother to my father and my mother to my mother. At that time, what kind of feeling would they have heard about the "good points" of their parents who were successfully mixed in the chat. I remember gradually being exhausted by the conversation that eventually turned into dissatisfaction with each other no matter what the subject was talked about.
Eventually, when I was with my dad, I would be with my dad and blame my mother. When I was with my mother, I started to talk with my mother about my father. It has been painful to quietly ablate your mind to do something with your parents that has been taught as a bad thing since you were a child.
Eventually I suffered from depression . Shortly before graduating from high school.
It's not just the home environment. My studies, friendships, my personality, and various factors contributed.
By that time, there wasn't even a clerical conversation between the parents. When something happened, I just wrote it down in a dairy and kept it in each room when they weren't there.
I was sick and immobile, and I didn't like the sunlight, so in the dark room I asked myself what I should do many times.
My mother had many small complaints that she had with her. My father didn't try to see it. But I know my mother was trying to improve a few times after she stopped speaking. After all, there are many things that have not been fixed.
Currently, I manage to spend my days as a member of society working for a general company. He has not taken any medication and has been living a general life after being diagnosed by his doctor as being able to work.
I was on Twitter the other day, and when I saw this topic that was flowing on the timeline, my heart trembled for the first time in a long time, so I was organizing it in this way. The title is "Mother doesn't speak to Dad." I read the essay manga halfway, but it was so painful that I stopped reading. That's because I was a kid whose mother had her hair wiped.
There were various opinions about which was bad and which was lacking in words. Some people wondered if that was the case, and some wondered if it was different.
From a child's point of view. Rather, it was painful to remember the experience I had with my disgruntled parents. I can't say I wanted you to break up. There were various other factors, both economically and socially.
I just wanted the words to be exchanged. Just a little more. If it is not possible for only two people, you may ask the appropriate organization to cooperate.
I wanted you to exchange words a little more. I didn't want to give up there. This is a child's selfishness. I would say I hate if I'm my mother's father. Don't expect anymore, if you don't expect it, you won't get into a quarrel, so it's best to wait for time to pass without touching it.
The idea is rational. But if I could say the feelings of those days without hiding, I would like to ask the two to talk.
That said, even after I became ill, I could not speak to my father.
Because there was a decisive thing. One day when I was told one day, I couldn't trust my father anymore. It was a word that accurately scooped out my weakest points. I don't want to remember it, but it remains unforgettable. Even after many years. I knew that if I couldn't trust the other person decisively, all of them wouldn't want to move at all.
Therefore, it's difficult to make a living with me as a kid when I was a child.
Is there a child who can't even cry between parents who don't have conversation? Maybe you? Or is it a child like that?
It's not your fault that your family doesn't work with your parents. It wasn't your fault. That was their problem. It wasn't a problem that you could manage by yourself.
Perhaps if they chose another way, or maybe they did. But your parents didn't. It may be sad, but my parents are the closest strangers. There aren't many things that other children can do in their problems.
It wasn't your fault. Ironically, if you look at Twitter now , you'll understand. Everyone mutters freely when their father is bad and their mother is bad.
It's not your fault. Maybe it was sad, it might have been painful. It's not my fault.
If you don't think so, you can't do it.
The word that I hate the most is that "a child is glaring".