Today, February 16, 2024, is exactly one week without you Kleine Poes. It's hard to write these words, but I write them anyway because I know I can't even say them without you hearing the tears in my voice. Oh, I know you're not here to hear them anymore. If you were there I wouldn't have to write these words. But the reality is, we had to let you go a week ago. We would have liked it to be different, but it wasn't possible. We couldn't let you suffer because we couldn't miss you. But the void you left in our home... it is incomprehensible.
When you hear this, you'll probably start laughing up there. I'm laughing with you a little bit in my mind now. But I miss you Poes. I miss you more than I could ever imagine. And once again I know that, just like Rowan and Lex before you, you have taken a piece of me with you. A part of me is missing. A little piece of my heart went with you, and that little piece of me, Poes, that is the piece where my love for you is anchored. Forever. Everything in this house reminds me of you. The place where you used to lie remains empty for a large part of the day because Myla and Skipper are not in that place much now. They also miss your presence. Who is there for Skipper now to bark with him? He never expected it, but now he has to bark alone. Missing goes a long way, it's in the little things you always did, the way you looked at me with your stubborn face. And I even miss you barking at the traffic that passes by. Now I'm surprising you, aren't I? You never thought you'd ever hear from me. Usually, I said you were driving me crazy with your barking. And now that I don't hear it anymore, now I miss it. Last night I even dreamed that you were here to bark again, the memory of you is so vivid.
Do you remember how happy you always came running out of the room when I was gone for a while? Do you remember those moments too? You ran around the kitchen like crazy, making happy squeaking noises as you ran, and your tail was hitting everything. You barely gave Myla and Skipper the chance to greet me too, you were so happy. Then we always went outside to play with your beloved tennis balls. And just run to get rid of all your energy. Your favorite game and the joy that radiated from you was so beautiful to see. Only to go back inside, and no matter what I did, you were near me. Either you were right behind me or walking behind me... and in the evenings when we watched TV. Then you would lie on the boss's couch, snug against him. That's a thing right now, Myla and Skipper haven't decided yet who will be allowed to lie in that spot. And you would laugh if you could see it. You were never that difficult. If another dog was lying where you wanted to lie, you just lay down with it. Or the other person moves up, and you lie together. Or the other dog left for another place, but you lay next to the owner, your warm body snug against him. It's not surprising that he also misses you terribly.
Yes, we miss your presence Kleine Poes. I even miss the tennis ball always thrown right at my feet, the way you forced me to play with you. You were tireless. Now I play with Skipper, and Myla is also doing her best. But, they are not you. And although they both try their best, they miss your boundless energy. The joy is less great for them than it always was for you. And their enthusiasm is not the same as your enthusiasm. So you get the idea, even though I'm delighted that Myla and Skipper are here, it still feels like there's been a huge hole that no one can fill. And although I already knew it, it became clear again last week. You cannot be replaced, you were unique, with your special personality and your unconditional love.
Kleine Poes, we know you're no longer in pain. And yes, we also know that we made the right decision to let you go, no matter how difficult it was. You were in too much pain due to the size of the tumor. Breast cancer became a major obstacle for you, and it was no longer possible to live comfortably. You must have felt our sadness as we watched this slowly happen, and you also noticed that it broke our hearts. But Lana, you have to understand that we didn't want you to suffer. We have always wanted only the best for you, even if that meant letting you go.
But dear Lana Poes, remember that even now, as the days pass and the pain of losing you slowly settles into our daily lives, our love for you will always remain. You know, Poes, we have always had a love that goes deeper than words. And now we notice that that love extends even beyond the boundaries of time. It turns out to be a love that will last us forever and ever connect, even now that you are no longer here.
We still look at a photo of you every day, Kleine Poes. The playful look in your eyes, your mouth open in a big smile, and the pride you showed because of wearing the cap from your boss on your head. The joy in your eyes, that special expression that indicated that you embraced everything life had to offer. You headed off to the next adventure as quickly as your paws could carry you. Lana Poes, we have done what we could do for you, and in any case, we can say with certainty that you have gotten everything you could want out of life for 11 years. And even though the tears for you still come regularly, every photo reminds me that your spirit will always be with us and that you will never be completely gone.
