Since, like you, I've loved this topic since childhood, I've listened and continue to listen to many scientists and hobbyists. Often, after a few minutes, my brain, which can't handle math (I suffer from dyscalculia; my thoughts literally scramble like a blender when I'm calculating large numbers in my head), can't handle this material either when I start analyzing what I've heard. According to 99% of them, there are no aliens, they have no right to exist, etc.

However, like some of these people, I believe that we probably just can't see them or something is blocking us, and humanity needs another great leap forward. Something like crossing the ocean through Europe for the first time (on the way to the US) combined with the creation of mass-produced and cheap PCs (after the era of Doom 1 and 2, when hardware prices plummeted) and the discovery of the steam engine. As one Polish politician said: It would be an unimaginable and disgusting waste of space.