How many journals is too much journals?
I am a highly emotional and sentimental person, and I like looking back to memories (altho it can get ugly at times haha). When something good happens, I often feel the need to jot them down in my journal before the moments fade in my memory. Do you get that feeling, too?
But of course, my entries are not always rainbows and sunshine. Is it just me, or people really tend to write more when sad? Hmmm. So yes, more than half of my handwritten journal entries probably are just excessive word vomit or unsent letters to people of objects.
There is something liberating about being able to express all the things running in your head without letting other people know about them. I talk to myself too much, sometimes I get confused whether or not I shared a certain memory or sentiment to an actual other person. Haha.
I always get feedback from friends or colleagues that I could be brutally honest at times. There was even a phase in my life when I was labeled as maldita. Hahaha. I didn't naman get into fights, but I did have the tendency to express all my emotions, sometimes it could be too much for other people. It is something that I started working on, and I think that compared to how I was before, I am pretty calm now. Haha I now get to control when to speak out and when to hold it inside, but holding it in doesn't make me feel good. So again, I divert my big emotions to a safer battle-- writing.
Over the years, I have already collected a number of journals, both physical and digital ones. It can also get addicting, you know! Haha.
Each person fills their blank pages in different ways and pace. Some prefer planners or bullet journals, and they do it either daily, weekly, monthly or occasionally. As for me, I don't follow a certain way of translating my thoughts and memories into journal entries. I kinda have a pattern, but along the way, I somehow end up not following it through. Haha. Oops. I also attempted on doing it daily, but it exhausted me. It started to feel like a chore that needed to be done, rather than an outlet of getting rid of the voices in my head. Therefore I decided to just write whenever I feel like it and add anything that I wanted.
I started with just words because it looked neater that way, but soon let loose and added photos, receipts, doodles and other elements that would give more life to the pages.
I have been pretty consistent with my journaling journey the past years, but honestly, when the pandemic took its toll on me, it slowly lessened. Partly because I barely had anything extraordinary, given that home days are quite repetitive these days, and also because I didn't have the energy or will to face my feelings. Journaling was my escape, but somehow, I ended up escaping from it, too.
Part of me is a bit sad how I wasn't able to write about some meaningful moments that happened, but at the same time, I try not pressure myself into it. Again, journaling should be something that helps us breathe, instead of drowning us even more.
How about you? Do you keep handwritten journals, too?
Stay sane and safe!
Let's spread happiness.
❤
