Breaking through weaknesses

It has been a year and 3 days now being a single mother. It has been a wonderful time with my daughter until now. We have a lot more freedom instead of being stuck in the house all day long on the weekend. I used to be working most of the time every weekend but now I am spending more time with my daughter. It is a lot better than working but then, we do not have enough expenses for our monthly needs. I have cut a lot of unnecessary items from our expenses and yet we are still struggling.

Well that is not the main story for today but I just want to let out the heaviness I felt inside.

We are currently sick and still struggling to get better especially with thick phlegm. Luckily we do not have fever. please no fever again this year. I miss the moment where we rarely get sick.

I wonder if we can go back to that moment again. As for now, I enjoy the moment hiking with my daughter.

I do not have a very good breathing endurance and I can easily get palpitation when I am tired, but when I am with my daughter, I feel like I can breakthrough anything. She can make me run during hiking and to avoid that, I never want to let go of her hand except when she said she want to take picture.

She kind of love taking picture of herself. She is the woman I am missing in myself. I hope I can teach her and give her a better version of myself from now on. Being separated with my husband is the best decission I ever make in my whole married life.

I wanted to get a divorce but then I felt guilty of disrespecting my own religion and faith. I do not need to get married again therefore I think that divorce is unnecessary for now. I can always be someone wife in title and forever a mother of one. I do hope he let us free.