Ah, maybe a narcissist?

To give you an idea of what they are like (because I've experienced it myself) I cut a family member out of my life, which means we no longer speak. Even so, she juz can't stop commenting on conversations I have with anyone else, sometimes to the point of being hostile. It's an attempt to trigger a reaction simply because she's no longer getting any from me.

The thing about these people is that they lack empathy and thrive on reactions. If they need attention, they drag people into arguments because someone being angry at them is better than being ignored entirely.

Or maybe they aren't narcissists... just unaware?

Either way, people who repeatedly and deliberately hurt us don't deserve a spot in our lives. Like you said, life is already hard, we don't need extra baggage. Accept the fact that despite communication, they still tend to hurt you. Accept the fact that they mean it (because denying it makes the burden heavier). Tell yourself you don't need to carry it.... put it down, leave it there, and move on. I believe in forgiveness and moving on... not the forgiveness we give to others, but the forgiveness and grace we give to ourselves. ❤️‍🩹