First of all, these circumstances are more common than you think. Whatever is you're dealing with, there are places you could go, people you can talk to that can help you get through it. So don't shy away from professional counsel, it can only help by giving you a different perspective on things.
Ask yourself, what does it feel like? Does it make you want to scream? Does it make you want to cry? Does it make you want to shut down from the world? Think hard on this, and once you target the best release form, just go with it. You need time to freak out, you need time to react to your circumstances by yourself.
Once you've let it all out, you have to stop and think of how this is or isn't your fault. For this you need to be completely honest with yourself, understand that this won't help if you lie to yourself. Also take some time to identify all the things you couldn't control, the things no one could've had control over and accept them. Both what's on you and what is not.
Once you've got a better understanding and acceptance of the circumstances, take some time off worrying, or at least try, to relax. Clear your mind for at least five minutes. Some people find it helps best to run it out, others find watching a movie or show very therapeutical. I for one find reading fiction a helpful escape to my stress. For you, it could be an hour at the gym, cooking, or baking. Do something you enjoy.
Now you've calmed a little, done something relaxing, you have all the tools to find the answers you're looking for. Deep down you know what's right for you and sometimes the best policy is to work on yourself, on self-love and acceptance. On the other hand, if it's an issue that needs handling on your part, just get at it, trust that you can do whatever you put your mind to. Every day has a new opportunity and even if the steps you're taking aren't big, you'll look back one day and realize you've climbed past the mountain.
Love,
Hauff xx