I have discovered that love doesn't guarantee the success of a relationship. Love cannot make you stick to one person all year round, and on the other hand, cheating isn't always a product of not loving your partner.
Infact, loving someone doesn't guarantee not falling in love with someone else. Relationships work out mostly because of our heads not our hearts.
It works out because of our emotional maturity, empathetic intelligence and self discipline; because time will come when you'll see more beautiful, handsome, romantic, intelligent, sexy, rich, curvy and God fearing people than the one you're in a relationship with.
In those times, love will not help you. Emotional intelligence will come to your rescue and commitment will keep you going. With those characteristics, no matter how you feel for someone else, the person you are committed to will rank first in your life.
You think happily married people don't see better persons than the ones they got married to? You think they don't feel funny sometimes? You think they don't catch feelings? They do! But understanding that commitment is greater than feelings and it is a great arsenal that destroys those unhelpful impulses.
You can fall in love with anyone, but building a relationship takes absolutely more than what attracted you to them and takes more than love.
We are too fond of loving when it's convenient and sweet.
We are too fond of loving when love is there; but that can only last for just the first 3-6 months of the relationship in many cases. After then you'll realize that the feelings have dropped and is now your responsibility to make the relationship work not love's responsibility.
Relationships cannot be ready-made. You have to build it and it's never always about love, it requires commitment and intelligence.
On the long run in marriages, it's not just love that keeps them together forever, it's commitment and determination.
Everyone falls in love, it takes little or no effort to do that. But staying in love? Building a relationship? Only the strong and committed ones do that. That's why we must find that one person and commit to that one, discipline yourself and bridle your emotions.
Building a relationship is hardwork, it's like building a career, it's like pursuing a dream. It's always tough. At some point it will be so bitter but you can make it work by putting your heads together. You can scale through the trying times by staying focused and committed.
The kind of love that attracts two people is not the kind of love that will keep them together. Be emotionally strong, be self disciplined and above all, have the God factor that will give you the grace needed to reign you in.
© Seefun Anthony
