Sex and fasting
As soon as I cleared out the dinner table, I went
into the bedroom, not bothering to say goodnight to
Kenny in the living room. I knew he was going to
be coming to bed soon enough. I needed him to
think I was fast asleep by the time he came to bed.
I quickly got into the bathroom and had a quick
shower before climbing into bed...
I made sure I put on my long pyjamas so there was
no way he could have easy access to my body.
About an hour later when I heard him climb into bed
and turn the other way, I finally let out the breath I
was holding. I managed to escape the sx
tonight...
By the time I woke up the next morning, I knew we
were going to have another round of noise and fight
and I quickly said a silent prayer to God for
strength. I could feel his hand roaming round my
body relentlessly and there was no doubt in my
mind what the expected end result to be. I opened
my eyes and took a glimpse at the clock on the
wall. It was just 6.am. I turned and removed his
hands from my body and tried to get up only to be
pulled back. By the third time of going through the
same motion, he finally spoke up...
''Babe, what is the excuse today? It has been 2
weeks for Christ sake. How am I supposed to be
happy if you won't even have sx with me?'' He said
with obvious frustration in his voice...
''So your happiness is now tied to sx? You still
don't get it do you? I am doing this for us. For our
home and our future. I told you before I started that
this was going to happen and you agreed and now
you want to make me feel guilty. Seriously I am
confused...''
''Omololami, you know I am not opposed to prayer
and fasting. I love God too and I go to church but
you cannot honestly expect me not to have sx for
the next 100 days just because you want to fast...''
I was so angry at that statement and I flared up,
''Seriously Kenny, are you kidding me right now?
What happened to self control? This just shows how
far you have fallen from the faith. Is this not the
same you that used to fast with me all the time
before we got married? So all that spirituality was a
lie? Did we not court for two years without sx? So
you must have been cheating on me...''
''What? How can you say that? Are you crazy? How
can you even compare both scenarios? I was single
then now I am married. Why did I get married if I
can't have sx...?''
''Oh so now I am a sx machine? You married me
for the sx?'' I asked...
''You know what, I wont waste my time having this
fruitless conversation with you. I am warning you for
the last time. I wont take this your fasting bullshit
and you will learn to respect me in this house. If
this is the rubbish they are teaching you in church, I
will ban you from going there...''
''You wont dare Kehinde Ayorinde. You will not dare.
If I ever have to choose between you and my God,
trust me, you will loose. It is God first and you
second. That devil that is trying to use you, will not
find a place...''
''Try me, Lola, just try me'' he said as he walked
into the bathroom and slammed the door...
I walked out of the room and went into the kitchen
heartbroken. As I went about making Kenny's lunch
that he usually takes to work I was so sad. I didn't
understand Kenny's bitterness towards my
relationship with God. I didn't expect to have these
kind of issues just 6 months after marriage. He
knew how much I loved God and how much that
relationship means to me and he was proving so
difficult. We even talked about this while we were
courting and he used to tell me how much he loved
my passion for God. We have tried getting pregnant
for the past 5 months and nothing has happened
and I knew I needed to tackle it in prayer before 5
months turned to 15 years and I told him I decided
to join the 100 days fast in church. Initially, he had
agreed to join me but 3 days after he stopped....
I didn't get offended. I decided to do the prayers
myself, I just did not expect him to be so bitter
about it. As I finished packing his lunch about 30
minutes later, Kenny came out fully dressed and
just walked past me without picking up his food as
usual. I quickly ran after him and caught up with
him just as he was getting into his car...
''You didn't take your food'' I said.
''Take that rubbish food and get out of my sight. I
don't want your food, now or ever until you learn to
respect me and until you decide what is more
important to you'' he said and slammed the door,
driving away while I stood there mouth agape...
We had a lot of disagreements over sx in the last
two weeks but I had never seen Kenny so bitter
before. I knew there and then I needed to pray for
my home. Casting out every demon that suddenly
possessed my husband.…..
SX & FASTING...
PART 2
As soon as Kehinde left for work, I decided to take
his matter to God in prayer. I went on my knees
and was lost in prayer for the next four hours.
''Father, defend me in my marriage, cast out every
demon that has possessed my husband's heart''.
Proverbs 21:1 says, "The king's heart is in the hand
of the lord, he turns it whichever way. Oh God turn
my husband's heart away from sx and all things of
the flesh during these 100 days of fasting, in the
name of Jesus. Towards the end of my prayer, I
suddenly got an inspiration from the Holy Spirit on
what to do next.
There was no point trying to tell Kenny he could not
have sx with me, I only had to use wisdom to
avoid it by doing things that will not even get him
interested. So I decided not to have my bath the
whole of that day. I knew how much Kenny liked me
bathing and all clean. By the time he got home
around 7pm that day, I made sure dinner was ready.
I could not have been more wrong because another
argument ensued as soon as he came in through
the door.
''Madam, have you sorted out your issues yet?'' he
said.
''What issues Kenny? Please come and have your
dinner''.
''Did you think I was joking? Did you think not taking
your bath will work on me? Or you did you think I
will not know you enough to know that not taking
your bath is a tactic to avoid sx?''
I was quite shocked and kind of speechless that he
immediately realized what my plan was.
''Kenny, please be understanding. I need to
consecrate myself to God''. I resorted to begging
instead.
''Lola, get it straight, I am not asking you not to fast.
What is wrong with having sx between 6pm that
you break your fast and midnight that the next day
starts? That is all I am asking'' he tried to negotiate.
''I am sorry Kenny, I don't believe that is good
enough. I am supposed to be consecrated for 100
days. Having sx during that time just makes me
feel unclean''. I explained.
''What is unclean about sx between husband and
wife babe? It is totally biblical''
''See Kenny, you just need to be patient. I have just
85 days left and then we can go back to doing the
dirty''.
''Let me tell you something Lola, this is the last
time I will have this discussion with you. If you
cannot find a way to balance your marriage and
fasting, then you just might not have a marriage to
come back to after your 100 days''.
''What do you mean by that Kenny? God forbid such
confession?'' I said immediately.
Kenny left me standing there and went into the
room. My surprise was complete later that night
when he moved most of his things to the guest
room. I was going to beg him but I just later
decided it was for the best if he stayed in the guest
room for the next 85 days. This was probably God's
way of creating a solution for me. I went on my
knees that night and sang in gratitude to God for
making a way for me where I thought there was
none.
By day 60 of my fasting and prayer, I was officially
frustrated. The joy and excitement I got from
fasting and prayer had gone. Kenny and I had
become total strangers in the house. He had not
eaten my food in over 6 weeks and I was officially
worried. He had started coming home quite late and
we did not even talk anymore. Every time I tried to
talk to him, he just shut me out. We both went to
work and came back and went into separate rooms.
I did not even know where to start from. I knew for
a fact I had not done anything wrong and was just
doing the best for our marriage and I wondered
constantly why Kenny was so blinded by
unreasonable rage. I wondered where all the
promises of not going to bed in anger went.
I finally reached the end of my rope that week when
I got a text from him around 8pm saying,
''Don't wait up for me. I wont be coming home
tonight''.
I could not believe my eyes and I immediately sent
him a text saying,
'' Where are you? Why wont you come home?''
His reply made me burst into tears. ''Please ask the
holy spirit to reveal it to you in prayer''
My marriage is in trouble.
S*X AND FASTING.
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