I agree that when we write online, we often throw grammar out the window, both for convenience and readabiity. Sometimes, being 100% grammatically correct leads to bizarre sentence construction. For example, according to the rules of grammar, we are told not to end a sentence with a prepositional phrase. I think it was Winston Churchill (?) who famously said "that is a rule up with which I shall not put" because, obviously, in many cases, it is much more awkward not to end with a preposition.

I am not an expert. Part of the reason I want to write about this is to remind myself of the rules!

To answer your question:

Your first use of "affect" was incorrect. It is a noun and in the sense of "cause and effect," so "effect" would be correct. Your second use of "effect" was correct. To effect change... you are using the other meaning of "effect" and therefore it is a verb. I see how this can be confusing.

Effect as a noun is an effect. So, for example, when I stick a fork in the power outlet, it has a bad effect on me. How does it affect you when you stick a fork in the power outlet? Does it effect a change in your mood when you stick a fork in the power outlet? If so, that is the effect it has on you. It might affect different people in different ways.

I guess the rule of thumb is that if you can put "to" in front of it, it is "affect" and if you put "an" in front, it is "effect" unless you are talking about effecting change (as you were). English is such a weird language. I have sometimes taught ESL, and sometimes my students have looked at me like I am insane. I didn't invent English! Haha.

(I feel like I have just confused matters further. I apologize if that is the case.)