Sometimes, a situation simply calls for a change in perspective. For example, I used to be horribly offended by children in the supermarket running up to me and rubbing my stomach. I have a large stomach, but this seemed horribly invasive and rude.
I noticed most of the children appeared to be from another culture, but I didn't like to make generalizations about bad behaviour.
Then, one day, out of the blue, I had a sudden "aha" moment when I was reading about Buddhist beliefs. Many children from Buddhist cultures like to rub Buddha's big belly for good luck. Most statues show the Buddha with a very big belly.
I suddenly realized that my big belly probably made these kids think of the Buddha. They were rubbing my belly for good luck.
Reframing the situation made me realize that the children meant no harm, and that it was actually a little funny. Boundaries are still important, and I think parents of all cultures should teach their children not to randomly rub stangers' bellies, pregnant or not. It is very, very rude and invasive. It should be obvious to any parent that this is potentially dangerous for children to do.
I tend to be kind even when I am irritated in the extreme, but I wonder how some bikers with big bellies would react to a random child running up to them and grabbing them. I understand it now, but I still think it is rude, foolish, and unsafe. Nevertheless, now that I have reframed it, instead of feeling ashamed of my belly, I actually do worry for these kids, who are doing something they think is harmless. If they catch the wrong person on the wrong day, a random belly rub might be an issue.
How would you feel if random kids came up to you in the supermarket and rubbed your stomach? This is why I find it hard to go out sometimes. I reframe things for myself, but it is still so hard to be "different" in public. I have to steel myself emotionally because it might be fine. Or it might not. And if I see kids running up to me, I have to be on guard and very fast to say, "No!" It's really weird.
I am not the Buddha, contrary to popular belief.
