It's not all smiles signifies joy or happiness. A story of a gradual dying while full of smiling on the outermost face.
Today as I went home, even if I'm with my friends full of merriment, I feel so lonely. Thinking of you made me feel so blue, for you love her, and I'm in love with you. This heartache makes me want to cry, but instead of tears, I express it with a sigh, for I don't want them to see that I'm crying, because I'm falling for you badly.
"It's just a little crush," that's what I say, but it's making a big hole when I see you every day,
for when I follow your stare, it leads to her, and sometimes, I feel like tears are going to make my vision blur. I know it's pathetic, but when you talk to me I feel so pleased and happy, but still, I know that you're not going to love me
'cause your heart belongs to her completely.
You're just a fantasy, and you'll never love me in reality. I know that someday you're just going to be a memory that I will remember when I'm lonely. But someday is not yet today. It still is far, far away,
but I wish you'll notice anyway
that my heart is breaking, and even though I'm smiling, just look in my eyes, and you'll see that I'm dying.
Be down or up the stairs, in or out, fair or black, in between some spider hair, along a glowing beam, even along a narrow stream. A gray dull life is not one I desire, as day gone by, a new hope for something to light my fire spank up. Dying strikes when I least expect smiles, I always wonder when it will joy will hit my next life. I'm lucky as she leaves? or should I pray for her to come back? What if has made up her mind? What if someone else has occupies that heart? It is does not return. However when it does return I yearn for something to do. I Look for a clue for something to do, just as you likely read this from smiling but dying.
Yet she didn't pay attention to the pleading rather walked away, shame, pains and fear was so severe. What a heart hearted ale, no mercy neither second thought, no considering neither looking back. Tears roll to the chest, the gravity of falling, the heaviness of losing, slowly going down to the grave but still smiling. An awesome experience that couldn't explain in a hurry.
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