It’s a windy saturday morning in Wazan residential estate and if you were standing by the branded beach umbrella at the gate leading into the estate, you’d notice two men walking towards a modern semi-detached bungalow. And if ,for some reason, these men interest you, you’d also notice that one of the men is a tall distinguished looking older man and the other is a young adult with a rather wimpish physique. That being said, this is what would happen if you just grabbed a chair , sat and watched.
The men would approach the house and knock. The householder, a man in his late thirties most likely , would open the well-polished wooden door and say something to the men. The older man would reach for the black briefcase in his hand and then he would say something …
PAUSE.
Now put a finger in both your ears. Done? Okay, you just wore invisible earphones, now you hear EVERYTHING.
“I’d like to talk to you about G-strings” – The older man.
“what?” -The householder.
“can I come in?”- The older man.
The older man (and the wimp) walk into the house (without permission!). He actually shoves the householder aside and walks in.
Here , binoculars, you can now see inside the house! You’re welcome.
“HEY! Get the hell out of my house now!”- the householder
“Hey mister sit down. Be civil.”- the older man
“Civil!! You break into my house and you ask me to be civil?”-the householder
“I didn’t break in, you let me in.” -the older man
(SILENCE)
“I’m calling the police.” -the householder
“Okay”-the older man
(PAUSE)
“where’s my damn phone!”-the householder
“with me”-the older man
“how did you get my phone !“-the householder
The older man would get off the chair and walk to the householder.
“Look man, I have no time for this ,please take a seat. You’ll need it.”-the older man
The householder walks slowly, quietly to a single seater sofa and sits. So did the older man but on a two seater. The wimp is very very quiet.
‘Well, two years ago, on a rainy sunday morning, you saw a classmate from the university walking to church, You, in your Honda CR-v, purposely splashed mud on the young man’s church clothes”- the older man
“this is ridiculous”-the householder
“it is? well, four years earlier, you switched your final project with this young man’s. This project got you this job that got you this house and these cars and this beautiful woman”-the older man
The older man would pick up a framed photograph of a very beautiful woman . admire it for a few minutes and then drop it.
“look, i don’t know what you are talking about“-the householder
“don’t add lies to your transgressions please“-the older man
“please, leave my house now. I’m SICK of all this. Get out!”- the householder
” do you know how many nights that young man kept up ,thinking why his project he worked so fucking hard on ,excuse my french, scored so badly?
“do you know how many times that young man had to take his paper back to be remarked, ’cause he knew he had worked too hard to get such a poor score?
“do you know how devastated that young man was when he kept getting that score over and over again? When the job he had envisioned would fall on his laps after he graduated was given to someone else ? “- the older man
The householder starts sweating. he leans forward in his chair.
“w w w why are you telling me all this?”-the householder
“because you let yourself forget, that’s why”-the older man
“but you cant be him. you are too old. this doesn’t make sense”- the householder
“oh it will… of course I’m not him. of course”- the older man
The doorbell would ring. The householder would get up to get it. The older man would get up too. The wimp sits on his seat looking bewildered.
On the other side of the door was a woman. Very beautiful. The woman from the photograph. For someone seating by the beach umbrella at the entrance of the estate, you can see perfectly the woman entering the house even without your binoculars. She enters the house and again you raise your binoculars to your eyes.
“hello ma’am. We are old old old friends of your husband here. You are welcome ma’am.”- the older man
“oh thank you, You’re welcome. Let me leave you to catch up.”- the beautiful woman
The woman’s face shows she’s confused. She looks at her husband but the man looks away. She shrugs and walks out of view.
“she’s even prettier than in her photos”- the older man
“leave my wife out of this!-
“what is it you want ? Money ? I’d pay you whatever please just leave my family out of this”- the householder
“oh, its too late for that now, Mister. Come, come out let me show you something”- the older man
“I’m not going anywhere with you!”- the householder
“dont be silly. follow me.”- the older man
There’s silence for several minutes. The older man stands. Then the householder. And then the wimp. All three of them walk out of the modern semi-detached bungalow and out into the street.
“Look an explosion!”- The older man.
“What the hell are hell are you talking about, you insane son of a …”- the householder
” mm hmm, the name’s Karma”- the older man a.k.a Karma
BOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
Oops ,your binoculars just shattered. Well, hi I’m Jamal a.k.a the wimp. I don’t know this man at whose feet I’m lying (I fell after the fucking explosion) but I just watched him blow up a man’s house with his wife still in it. In-fucking-credulous right? I’m scared shit out of my mind right now but I won’t lie to you ,I’m starstruck. I mean, this man is superman or something. This man is fucking Chuck Norris. I don’t even know what to say… Damn.
Well, we left the crying man to mourn and go crazy over the loss of his house and wife. My legs are shaking so much, my palm is sweaty, I just really need a seat… Oh yeah, a couple hours earlier…
“I’d like to talk to you about G-strings”- the older man
“what“- the wimp a.k.a me
“can I sit?”-the older man
“err yeah. So, what about g-strings”- me (I love G-strings)
“four years ago, you put a caterpillar on a girl’s chair in class and it gave her such a fright that she had to stay in the hospital for days”-the older man
“that was a long time ago. How do you know this ?”- me, clueless
” follow me.”- the older man
“why”- me
Well, I did follow him and he took me to that man’s house. Now my legs won’t stop shaking. I guess he really is Karma. If Karma were a man, he’d look like that. Definitely… Oh, my God! I should ask him…
“hey! Hey! Karma!“-me, running after him like a wimp
The older man stopped. I stopped too and tried to catch my breath.
“why G-strings?”-me
“what?”-Karma
“why do you use G-strings?”- me
(SILENCE)
“what’s the next best thing after Jesus ?”- Karma, the fucking genius older man
WOW! Wow!! He is a genius! Oh my God! I can’t stop smiling… Well, today was fun (whew) Just as I turned to leave, I heard Karma say to a woman that sells roasted corn just outside the estate gate beside the beach umbrella where you are seated. (you can take off the ear phones by the way)
“I’d like to talk to you about G-strings”
