You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.
This quote from the famous Maya Angelou poem still I rise has stuck with me from the moment I heard it. There's no nice way to put it... I am the daughter of a woman who couldn't give me up fast enough, and a man whose addictions made him absent at best. My childhood was not a gentle one.
The deadliest aspect of trauma may be that it's survivors tend to try to relive it, until we finally fight through to put the damn beast to bed. I certainly was an example of this. In my early adult years I sought out partners that were absent, abusive, unstable. Well, I sure found them! It turns out vulnerable young women are a beacon to the cruel, ah if only I could have a quick word with young me...
What would I teach her if I could?
Photo by Ivan Bertolazzi on pexels
Ohhhh baby let me tell you, I can teach you how to survive!
The rules are set by those who benefit from them, treat them only as suggestions unless they pertain to safety.
There is wealth in the local dumpster, rescue it.
Community will carry you through tough times if you know where to look, stay earnest and trust slowly. Your people will find you on this path.
Reality is somewhat ours to control, test it out!
People that love you will not purposely harm you. If you are unsure if someone meets the criteria for being toxic to you THEY DO! Trust and respect yourself.
These are just a few things I desperately wish I could say to 20-something me, who thought the world was an ever-bleak place. I spent a lot of time letting crumby people suck the life out of me. I was homeless on more than one occasion, still giving people things I needed. I sure was an easy mark! I thought I could make the world better by giving up small parts of myself.
Finn: Wait, so, what was the lesson we just learned?
Jake: Maybe it was, don't give your sugar to jerks?
A cherished quote from adventure time
Since those treacherous times my life has taken a strong upward turn. I have traveled the country, met true friends, found my voice along with my self respect, and best of all I made my first ever real HOME!
The climb was extremely educational. I learned how to write a resume; dove deep into how to market my skills to succeed. I learned how to vet the people I put my trust into. How to properly clean a cast iron, iron a shirt, and get my windows clean (newspaper, trust me). I learned these things, and I can teach you too, just ask me!
photo by Johannes Plenio on pexel
I would like to invite 
Thank you for reading my submission to week #97 of the LOH community contest!
If you find yourself relating to the feelings and/or experiences I shared from my younger years, please reach out to someone! So many people struggle to break the cycle of abuse because the first step is so tough, but you are tougher. If there is no one you can talk to, my door is always open. I will do my best to teach you how to survive ❤️
