This is a story about a mouse-deer and a crocodile.
So this is Sang Kancil the mouse-deer.
And this is Si Buaya the corcodile chilling at the river banks.
It was a hot afternoon when Si Buaya was sunbathing by the river banks.
"Do you mind if I have a sip to quench my thirst here?"
"My little mousedeer. Do you not feel that fear in your heart seeing me? How are you not shivering? "
"Hmm...let's see. I was following my family traveling south in search of fertile land to graze upon when my instincts persuaded me to stop by the river for a cool refreshing drink. You know it's like when you see a box of donuts and you start salivating but then your system 2 says you're going to get fat eating that donut. In the end you eat that donut nonetheless, letting your system 1 win over your system 2 with some trivial excuse like "at least I took the stairs this morning!" I guess my system 1 won out so it might be fate that I die today?"
"I do not believe in the conscious and unconscious brain. I think that every crocodile is as free-willed as they can be: assholes will continue to be assholes and douchebags will continue to be douchebags."
"Si Buaya are you extremely sad right now?"
"Erm, no? Why would I be? I have all the fish to feast on in the river."
"Then what book are you reading there? The Time Traveler's Wife? That's a pretty sad novel don't you think Si Buaya? And come on, a sensible crocodile like you wouldn't possibly believe in that hogwash of a concept such as magical time travel do you? I think you should read a book on theoretical physics instead. Maybe one day you can actually unlock the secrets for actuall time travel."
Si Buaya blushed ever so slightly and hid away the book under her belly. She knew logically-sound crocodiles don't indulge themselves in sappy romantic novels.
"Do you know about the wave-particle duality theory Sang Kancil? Sometimes I feel like my boyfriend behaves like an electron--behaving sometimes as a particle or a wave. When he's behaving like a particle, Michael says he loves me and I shouldn't feel so insecure; when he behaves like a wave, Michael says he'll leave me and that makes me think I'm not good enough."
"So you're afraid in making the final observation to see if he is a particle or a wave?"
"Yes I'm afraid so."
"Si Buaya, he fucked another crocodile while being with you. Surely that is enough evidence that he is a wave."
"Yes he did but according to the double-slit experiment, electrons can be a particle and wave at the same time! I need to collect more data points to really make sure he is behaving as a wave. I cannot simply conclude my hypothesis without setting more experiments. That goes against the code of the scientific method! Surely you as someone in the sciences know how important that is Sang Kancil."
"First you say you do not believe that we have a separate emotional and thinking part of our brains and now you're talking about the scientific method? Si Buaya please, I'm afraid you are trespassing into delusional territory. When my mom and dad fell in love, it was evident in their actions.
He brought her shoots and fresh leaves and she built a small home out of twigs and autumn-colored leaves for the both of them. Si Buaya I think you are just using the excuse of collecting more data to mask your denial that you have been cheated on.
You think you are being logical but you are just deceiving yourself because of your own sadness."
"But the scientific method must not be tainted! Perhaps yes I am heartbroken but you know science is still science."
"Suit yourself Ms. Crocodile. You know deep down you can't deny yourself. By the way, I think I am lost. Would you mind helping me cross the river? Perhaps my family is on the other side. I'd say I think I'm just at the right size to fit on your back while you swim across."
"You're not afraid that I would eat you?"
"Well if you've decided to eat me, I wouldn't be here now discussing theoretical physics with you would I?"
"Fair enough. Well hop on now."
Sang Kancil then hopped onto Si Buaya's back and they both slowly crossed the river. The sun was almost setting and you can see a faint crescent moon in the orange-red sky. The sound of the river flowing drowned out the quietness of the forest as both Sang Kancil and Si Buaya crossed the river.
As Si Buaya was swimming, a school of trout suddenly appeared in her line of sight and through pure instincts Si Buaya started diving deep into the river to pick up some dinner without realizing Sang Kancil was still on her back. As Si Buaya continued her hunting frenzy, a small patch in the river started to turn red from the blood of trouts which slowly faded away--carried by the river current.
"Help! Help! I'm drowning! Si Buaya, help! What the hell are you doing Si Buaya?"
Si Buaya suddenly snapped out of her trance and realized her mistake. She swiftly went to save Sang Kancil from drowning and assisted him across the river.
"You fucking animal! Can't you wait for dinner until we actually cross to the other side? I can't believe you let your instincts take over you."
"I can't help it Sang Kancil. What if all our lives are just pre-determined and that we are forever bound by the consequences of our instincts? What if Michael was pre-determined to cheat on me and that I am forever bound to be alone?"
"Stop that blabbering Si Buaya and come help me dry my fur from this bloody river water. You think you are bounded by your instincts--maybe you call it fate but you are not. You see if you were then I wouldn't be alive right now. The fact that you spared my life means that you understand that life isn't pre-determined."
"I know you are sad now but the future Si Buaya might not be. I urge you to consider the pain that you are facing right now to not be a one-off thing and years from now you might just view it as "one of those times". At times when we are sad, we convince ourselves to think of the most darnest things. Stretch out the timeline a little bit and you might realize that the data point when you are sad occurs again and again."
"The fact that I am alive right now might seem like something trivial but it is only made possible because you decided not to eat me. One day I'll find the girl of my dreams, marry her and have beautiful mousedeer kids and it is all thanks to this one small deed. Imagine Si Buaya if you persevere from this sadness and give life another chance; who knows what happiness you might find in the coming days?"
After drying himself off, Sang Kancil then noticed his family about 50 yards from the river.
"I guess this is au revoir Si Buaya. I think you can go back to finishing your novel. However, I hope this time you'll see it in a different light."
The sun had just set but the dim traces of its rays lit up the night sky by just a tiny bit. The gradient of the sunset spew a dark purple and the stars of the Milky Way painted across the open world above. Si Buaya then watched Sang Kancil rejoined his family where his silhouette started to shrink smaller and smaller.
"Sang Kancil which novel should I read next?" Si Buaya then shouted hoping Sang Kancil could still hear her from the distance.
No reply.
Perhaps Sang Kancil was too far away to hear her; perhaps Sang Kancil didn't want to reply. In any case, Si Buaya didn't felt an urge to shout again. She simply returned back into the river and gazed at the stars.
A few shooting stars dragged across the sky and in that moment she felt very small; but somehow at the same time she felt vastly grand.
Grand because she had the opportunity to be alive to spectate mother nature's breathtaking performance.
Alive because she gave life another chance.
Another chance because she chose to: not by fate, not by instincts, but by choice alone.
-THE END-
