According to a recent article on CNBC*, it's no longer rare for women in relationships to out-earn their husbands or boyfriends. In 2015, 38% of wives made more than their husbands in the United States. According to the surveys, many millennial women are “worried" and “ashamed” of out-earning their men. Many men feel emasculated when this happens, and once a woman starts earning more than her husband, divorce rates increase.*
Why do men and women struggle with the idea of the breadwinning wife?
I told CNBC last month that when it comes to financial priorities, men and women diverge.* Men focus on earning more income while women focus on saving it. Money is a game of offense, and whoever plays that game the best wins, whether you are male or female. Saving is playing defense–and by prioritizing it, women usually miss an opportunity to get ahead.
Whether it is because they have been held back for so long, earning disparities, or any number of other oppressions women over history have experienced, women are simply more financially defensive than men. This is why many women feel so uneasy with guys you aren’t bringing in the dough. Most women want a man playing offense, taking initiative—in the boardroom and the bedroom. So men, build up the coffers.
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Women say, “I don’t need all that, I just need you baby”—that’s a lie. Shift your focus away from money and then when you’re broke 1 to 10 years from now she will be asking you why you can’t help her mama who is sick.
Don’t get me wrong, there are many women capable of earning more than their partners, and couples should earn as much as they are able to. Women don’t want "rich guys", women want guys that are rich; Rich in ethics, integrity, ability, and authenticity. Real women want men—not punks who only know how to flaunt flashy rental cars or time-shares like they earned something.
The problem is, usually, if a guy is not earning much, it may mean—not always—but it may mean he is being a punk. No man feels good when he’s not producing. All those women CNBC reference who feel ashamed about out-earning their man, it’s probably because they know their man isn’t doing what he should be doing; he’s lazy or he’s given up.
Listen guys, for a man to be a man, you need to know what she needs. The list includes, but isn’t limited to, being…
What does a successful man look like, and what does a successful woman behind the man look like? A successful man will be hardworking, ethical, courageous, powerful, and ambitious. With those qualities, usually, earnings will follow—though that still leaves room for the wife to be the primary breadwinner.
What’s behind a powerful woman that’s behind that man? A person willing to put someone else first. Understand you are a team and understand the role you play. To have confidence in yourself, no matter your role is power. Look at the big picture and step outside of yourself.
The truth is real men want a powerful woman. Powerful women aren’t needy, but they aren’t independent either. A powerful woman is a balance of being independent but also enjoys being taken care of. A powerful woman disciplines herself and is in the relationship for the greater good.
How do you define a powerful woman? Comment below.
Men, whether your wife is the breadwinner or not, don’t cheat, don’t be a man who continually falls short of goals, don’t abuse alcohol, and don’t forget to be spontaneous and offer good sex. Be drug-free, be ethically ambitious…and bring something financially to the table so your woman doesn’t feel ashamed about it.
Because that’s what women want.
Be great,
GC
P.S. Whether man or woman, take your partner to 10X GrowthCon 2018 and take your finances together to the next level!
Grant Cardone is a New York Times bestselling author, the #1 sales trainer in the world, and an internationally renowned speaker on leadership, real estate investing, entrepreneurship, social media, and finance. His 5 privately held companies have annual revenues exceeding $100 million. Forbes named Mr. Cardone #1 of the “25 Marketing Influencers to Watch in 2017”. Grant’s straight-shooting viewpoints on the economy, the middle class, and business have made him a valuable resource for media seeking commentary and insights on real topics that matter. He regularly appears on Fox News, Fox Business, CNBC, and MSNBC, and writes for Forbes, Success Magazine, Business Insider, Entrepreneur.com, and the Huffington Post. He urges his followers and clients to make success their duty, responsibility, and obligation. He currently resides in South Florida with his wife and two daughters.
