Vietnam, as well as a lot of South East Asian countries, loves to make the steps of their buildings out of nice-looking, but very slippery when wet stairs. About a week ago I approached these stairs in the rain with a bit too much gusto and ended up completely busting my ass and landing, hard, on my back. I suppose you could say I am fortunate that I didn't split my skull open because that would have been a really stupid way to go out.
I didn't notice it at the time, but a few days later I started to experience rather intense pain in multiple places on my back and I'm one of those guys that tries to "man up" or "walk it off" but for the first time in many years, I realized that I was going to need to seek out the help of some professionals.
I was very nervous at first because I speak zero Vietnamese and have also heard that the medical care in Vietnam isn't exactly world class. I figured they would have an X-ray machine and I would just point at my back and say "X-ray" in the hopes that this is a universal term. Turns out it isn't, but one of the people at reception spoke pigeon English well enough to point me in the right direction.
I wouldn't say there is anything particularly special about the Bệnh viện 199 Hospital in Da Nang and the only reason why I went to it was because it was the closest one.
Reception was the most difficult part of the process, because the pain I am feeling in my lower back makes sitting down difficult and they made me change chairs a few times before I finally made it to the orthopedic doctor section and I was quite impressed that they sent me to the correct place. The only thing I would really tell to the receptionists was "back hurt, X-Ray." I guess they figured it out because this was exactly where I wanted to be.
I didn't have to wait very long and just briefly explained what happened to the roaming translator who as it turns out I have actually met somewhere else in town before at a restaurant. I couldn't really recognize him because everyone was wearing masks as you would expect in a hospital.
After a quick explanation of my incident I just explained how I "perform all of my own stunts but not on purpose" and feel as though I may have broken a rib or two. It took very little time before I was waiting somewhere else nearby to get X-rayed.
Thankfully, there is nothing wrong with my ribs or spine as far as they could tell and I guess I believe them because I have no reason not to. This doesn't change the fact that I was in agony and was self-medicating with whatever pain killers the pharmacy would give me up to that point and I think this is a recipe for disaster since just because you can get your hands on some strong pain killers, doesn't necessarily make it a good idea. Things like paracetamol and ibuprofen were not cutting it, so I was just telling my local pharmacist to give me the strongest pain killers that they could and ended up with Tramadol, which is an addictive synthetic opioid.
After not getting any new information from the X-rays, the doctor suggested an MRI and this kind of scared me because I had an MRI at one point in my life while living in USA and the experience cost me $1000 or so. I took a chance on this not being the case in Vietnam because honestly, I was in so much pain that if an MRI could reveal that I have a punctured internal organ or something, I would rather pay that much money than die alone in my condo, writhing in pain in my bed.
They didn't let me keep the MRI results because they don't print them out but it revealed that I have 3 muscular tears in my back. Two in my lower back, one in-between my lowest 2 ribs. I have no idea how a fall on some stairs could make that happen but since I am in my 40's now, I guess things like this happen.
Unfortunately there isn't much they can do for this other that tell you to rest and give you a bunch of drugs and I was just hopeful that these drugs were actually going to work. I ended up just taking his word on the things he scribbled on his pad and he didn't even explain what they were. I got more pain killers, anti-inflammatories, muscle-relaxers that make my entire body feel like jelly, and two other things that I don't even know what they are.
I approached the check out counter where you pay before you leave with a little bit of trepidation. I had brought about $500 with me and was just hoping that it was going to be enough. This is where things get really interesting.
I saw 2 specialists, got 4 X-rays and had an MRI as well as a translator guide the entire 2 hours or so I was in the hospital and the grand total was 170,000 VND.
This is around eight dollars US.
I found myself thinking of the film Hangover 2 when after leaving the hospital Bradley Cooper's character says "how's that even possible?"
Now this just makes me think that the United States medical system is even more messed up than I previously thought. I knew it was messed up but this same treatment in my home country, probably with people being rude to me the entire time would have almost certainly been thousands of dollars.
All in all it was a pretty great experience, well as much of a good experience as needing to go to the hospital can be I suppose. Now we just have to lie down for week or so and hope the drugs do the job. Good thing I don't have to go to work because the way the pills make me feel, I am not capable of very much right now other than lying down.