Clickbait title I know, but it actually did happen and I am writing about this just to let people know that even a grizzled veteran of the area occasionally gets busted by the po-po over here and it doesn't have to be a horrible experience for you when it does happen.
If you plan on visiting this country and want to rent a motorbike (and you should, if you can safely handle one) go ahead and get accustomed to checkpoints because it happens frequently in this country. There are many reasons why a pop up checkpoint can happen in Thailand: They could be looking for a particular person, the area could have a problem with drug trafficking and they are attempting to curb it, or they cops could be looking to make some money at the expense of the poorer members of their community / tourists. Mostly the checkpoints happen for the last reason.
Unfortunately, these checkpoints rarely have anything to do with law enforcement and this is evident if you just spend a little bit of time standing near one (it is an entertaining place to have a coffee / beer.) If you watch for a little while you will see all manor of infractions that go unchecked such as 4 people riding on one bike, or people without helmets on. However, one thing that never gets through the dragnet is any non-Thai people. That demographic will be immediately pulled over, even if you are obeying all laws. This was the case with me or rather, Keith Richards.
To be fair I didn't have my license on me and that is an offense for sure. However, it wouldn't have mattered if I did have my license because that is not the point of these things. I have been through checkpoints in the past where I had my license and then they asked to see my Thai driving license (which I actually also had,) after that point they wanted to see the ownership book for the bike i was riding and they know damn well that no one carries those with them..... because the point was to collect money from me, not to make sure I was legally allowed to operate the bike.
On this trip I just switched over to Thai language and said (in Thai) "How much is the fine?".... he responded in very poor English (despite the fact that i had JUST spoken Thai to him) 1,000 baht and then i negotiated it down to 500 almost immediately. I probably could have gotten him to 2 or 300 but i just wanted to keep things moving.
It is humorous to me that they bother asking what my name is at that point because they were obviously willing to accept any name that I gave them and seeing as how I didn't have any ID on me, there was no way to confirm or deny this. I was on the fence about which name I was going to use. Chuck Norris immediately sprung to mind as did Obi-Wan Kenobi. I thought it was probably better to not push the limits because Star Wars is relatively popular over here also.
So in the end I got a 500 Baht fine (around $15.) It is worth noting that this ticket is valid for 3 days and I cannot be fined for the same thing again in that time period. There was another checkpoint that i encountered later the same day and all i did was hold the paper up while still on the bike and they just waved me through without even checking it. I think maybe I'll hang on to this one and use it well into the future.
I suppose it is disappointing that the police shake people down like this but if you are visiting Thailand you kind of need to come to terms with the fact that this is kinda just how it is here. You can get upset and throw a fit and demand justice but I'm telling you now, this is not going to get you anywhere. The police are technically breaking the law here but all of them are in on it and if you attempt to appeal to a higher power you are only going to make more trouble for yourself. Do yourself a favor and if you are faced with this situation just pay the fine, make up a silly name for the ticket and later frame it as memorabilia for your trip. Find a favorite celebrity and get them in trouble in the Land of Smiles. You just gotta roll with the punches sometimes.
