Instead of trying to have some sort of shock title to all of my stuff I am going to instead follow the advice of someone that commented somewhere about keeping a dream journal so I can remember this stuff. Since writing with my hands is something that I am terrible at now just like most people, I am going to do it with a keyboard.
Last night was a strange and interesting 2 part dream meaning that I entered the dream, woke up because I needed to use the bathroom, then laid back down and somehow convinced myself to re-enter the same dream for the sequel. The dream, like most of my dreams, didn't have a conclusion, but it was still rather interesting.
In the dream I died and went to hell, only to discover that most of the people I know that have died IRL including some family members and past dogs were there as well.
So the hell that I was greeted with in my dream wasn't anything like the above, that was just the first image that came up when I searched for "hell is nice" in an image search. The quote below the image was "go to heaven for the climate, go to hell for the company." I find that amusing because it really seemed like the admins of hell really went out of their way to make sure that I got to immediately see a bunch of people that I knew in life right away.
The hell I encountered was more like an amusement park that had a lot of housing in it. The place you first land in was a "greeting area" of sorts only there wasn't a lot of information available about what the hell (pun intended) you were supposed to do. Once I saw someone I know in a call center of sorts just up ahead I finally just decided to leave the greeting area.
He told me that you can find out all the information you need by using these phones and just telling them your name and they'll fill you in. Then I got distracted because there were a ton of hot women at a bar that was just in the distance so instead I decided to head that direction and hang out for a bit before I bother with trying to understand my surroundings.
It was there that I got filled in by people about how hell works. You have a certain amount of money, basically whatever your net worth was in life to spend in hell, and if you tear through that you can get a job and there were always jobs available so you could basically be employed in doing whatever you want but it only pays $10 an hour no matter what the job is.
I also found out that housing is very affordable and you can have a simple apartment for a couple thousand dollars or enormous mansions for a couple hundred thousand. It was at this point that I started thinking that hell isn't so bad or they are operating on costs of housing from the 30's.
They also informed that you can have anything you want to eat any time you want it simply by walking up to these terminals and asking for it. This is where the only downside of the place was introduced to me that I had encountered thus far: All the food was served cold and NO ONE had any access to fire or heating of any sort. So I ended up eating some cold BBQ ribs that were still pretty damn good.
At some point in time I was relaxing in the very comfortable seating area at the bar and I ran into someone who looked like Richard Dreyfus but was not him... instead it was a guy that I knew was a preacher in his living life and had actually lived a very good life other than having an affair once. I told him "we are already in hell, so did you do anything else that would exclude you from heaven? There is no reason to lie" and he informed me that he didn't. So my consolation to him was that if everyone that did just one thing wrong was in hell then everyone is here and he shouldn't be worried about it. No one is that much of a puritan and heaven is probably filled with the most boring people imaginable. That put his mind at ease.
After flirting with the girls at the bar, eating some ribs, and talking to the preacher I finally decided to try to figure out where I was going to live so I headed over to the phone banks that I was informed would have the answers to every question that I might have.
Even in hell, I was overly nice to the people in the call center answering the calls and they were very friendly back to me
It was at that point that I was informed that I had $276,000 to work with and that this would last me a long time without working if I didn't feel like getting a job right away. I purchased a $5000 apartment and just left it at that. So I walked to the apartment that was extremely nearby and it was absolutely incredible! It was a two bedroom that was lavishly designed, already had a ton of furniture and there was a communal pool outside the window. Sticking with consistency, there was a kitchen with a fridge that was fully stocked, but there was no method of cooking anything. No oven, no microwave, no range, no toaster.
It was at this point that I noticed it had been light outside the entire time I had been in hell already and the weather was absolutely lovely. It was the perfect temperature actually.
It was at this time that I started to imagine that if hell is this nice, how awesome must heaven be? Or I was thinking that there must be some sort of catch that is coming up later and hell's first trick is to get you to thinking that eternity is going to be just dandy only to take it all away from you. Or, perhaps this would have been considered hell a while ago but humanity had done such a good job of ruining earth that only because we wrecked real life so much that hell is no longer a downgrade. Regardless, I was quite pleased that hell was as nice as it was. I actually found it preferable to being alive.
I wonder how my mind comes up with this sort of thing. I am an atheist and believe in the Bertrand Russel theory on death. When I die I wont be aware that I am dead and therefore I will not be sad. I will simply cease to have consciousness. However, if this is what hell is really like then sign me up!
I realize that some of you out there are religious so please don't take this as some sort of affront or that I am encouraging people to aspire to going to hell. This is just another one of my absurd dreams and it was a pleasant one at that.
